This summer I will have a five year old. I can hardly believe it myself, but my little buddy Caleb will be five. Because of this, the question keeps coming up..."Are you starting kindergarten with him?" To which I reply, "Have you met Caleb?"
Caleb is a smart kid. He's smart in his own right, and he also picks up a lot from his big sister. He is eager to learn new things, and enjoys being read to. He's known the alphabet for years. He can count pretty high and he also does addition in his head with M&M's, without ever being taught ("Mommy can you give me two more so I have seven? Cause five and two more makes seven") He can locate our state on the map. He also impressed me by memorizing the entire Lord's prayer at Bible study.But he's also very small for his age. He doesn't always talk clearly. He is just now starting to color. I can't think of anything crueler than making him sit at the table and try to write something with a pencil.
Which brings me to my point. Being smart doesn't always mean being ready. And by forcing something before it's ready, you run the risk of stunting it. I really believe that a large majority of the kids in remedial classes in public school are not any less intelligent or even able than their peers- I believe they were forced to start schooling before they were ready. If they were given the chance to wait until they were ready, they would have been considered on par with their peers.
A lot of my feelings on the topic of readiness come from teaching preschool. Before I had kids I wanted nothing more than a career in Early Childhood Education. I firmly believed in great preschools and getting kids "ready for kindergarten". But while I was teaching, I saw things happening that I knew in my gut were wrong. Kids crying every morning, all year, because they didn't want to leave mom. Four year old boys trying so hard to hold a pencil in their fist and scrawl their names until they were near tears. Getting my fingers nipped while I tried to hold papers for three year olds to cut with safety scissors, hacking away in any direction. And the perpetually worried parents- is he "behind?" will she be ready for kindergarten? These kids were not dumb, but they couldn't handle this stuff yet. They just weren't ready. They weren't supposed to be!
Then I took an awesome college course taught by a professor who also ran a Montessori school. It (well, she) totally changed my view on education, and in retrospect, laid the foundation for our family homeschooling. She talked about kids learning through play, learning from the world around them. About how play IS their work, about how playing pretend is actually a pre-reading skill, about how stacking blocks is math and emptying cups in the bathtub is science. It led me to view a child's development as the building blocks of their education. Even with Gracie, who is eight now, a lot of my focus in more on development than content. The content will always be there for you to learn. But you have to be ready to receive it.
So no, Caleb will not be starting kindergarten. He won't even be starting preschool (isn't it all pre-school?) He will be playing until his heart's content, and probably learning more than I could ever teach him.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Some things I've learned
With baby number 4 on the way, I feel like I should be doing something to get ready. When I found out we were having Gracie, I hit the ground running. There were a million things to do, a whole world of gear and accessories unfamiliar to me to learn about and then purchase. Not to mention the mental preparation. Nine months did not seem long enough.
This time, I'm just, well, waiting. Actually I don't feel like I'm waiting, because with three other kids here I sometimes forget I'm pregnant. I have no anxiousness. No impatience. And pretty much nothing to do baby-wise. I have girl clothes. I have boy clothes. I have a car seat and a high chair and a boppy and a bumbo and a double stroller and 2 diaper bags. I'm pretty much set.
Comparing this pregnancy to my first got me thinking about how much I've learned since baby number 1. I'm not saying I'm a baby expert, because every one is different. But it did get me thinking about the things I've really needed and used over the years and things that were just a waste of money.It also got me thinking about how many things I used to needlessly worry about. Here are some random reflections on those things.
Baby wipes warmers
Life is hard and wipes are cold. The sooner your baby figures this out, the better.
Boppy
You need one. I didn't have one the first time. I got one the second time around and realized how much easier breastfeeding was. Plus when they're super little you can prop them up in one to watch TV while you take a nap. just kidding.
Nursing cover
Back when I had baby number 1, we were still doing it the old fashioned way, holding a blanket between our teeth and hoping the wind didn't blow. Nursing covers are awesome.
Baby bathtubs
I never used a baby bathtub. I thought it was just easier to wash them in the sink. When they got a little bigger, I used the foam things they can lay on in the big tub.
Diaper stackers
What a waste of money. They look really cute in the nursery, but when you're dealing with a real blowout the last thing you want to do is try to reach through some pretty fabric and wriggle the diaper out.
A really good thermometer
These can get expensive, but just buy one. When your baby gets sick, you will feel so much better if you can get an accurate temperature. I need one. I am still wrestling my son to the ground like a greased pig to hold the thermometer under his arm.
Potty chairs
Potty chairs= twice the work. You have to empty it and clean it, plus clean the toilet. I like the little seats that sit right on the big toilet.
A playpen
If you have the space and a kid who won't scream in one, playpens are a great way to keep your baby safe while you get some things done. They can also keep things safe, like your Christmas tree. I have had several Christmas trees safely enshrined by a playpen.
Anti-tip brackets
'nuff said
Baby monitors
Maybe my kids are just exceptionally loud, but don't worry-you'll hear them when they wake up.
Nursing clothes
Nursing clothes are ok, but I found it's easier and cheaper to just buy a nursing camisole. You can wear it under all your usual clothes and still comfortably nurse the baby.
Swaddlers
When Gracie was born I would wrap her in receiving blankets which she would promptly kick off. Now they make these little baby-straight jackets that velcro in place and keep the baby snug and calm. Except for Luke. He used to just bust it open Incredible Hulk- style.
Hand me downs
Hand me down save you tons of money and time shopping. I've saved all three of my kids clothes and shoes. However, I've learned that, unless you're an exceptional laundress, some things aren't worth saving. These include onesies, washcloths, and socks. All three seem to get so stained and worn out that I just use them for rags and buy a fresh set for each baby.
Nurseries
Every woman dreams about the perfect, precious baby nursery. You can get complete sets with crib skirts and curtains, wall decals, and matching lamps and switch plates. But these things cost a ton of money, and chances are by the time your baby is three they'll have developed their own interests and tastes and you'll be replacing the Beatrix Potter collection from Pottery Barn with Thomas the Tank Engine from Target. You can save money by just buying a few pieces from a set and adding cheaper, coordinating pieces. Crib bumpers, curtains, crib skirts, and sheets are all things you can save money on. So splurge on the quilt and buy plain sheets.
However, if I have a girl this time, I have no intentions of following my own advice on this.
Sleep: The Holy Grail
Every one has their opinion about how to get a baby to sleep well. There are books and methods devoted solely to this topic. Your mom and mother-in-law and granny and friends will all tell you how to do it. From swaddling to cereal to co-sleeping to crying-it-out.
Well, I am here to let you in on a little secret: there is no secret! You will either have a baby that sleeps or a baby that doesn't. I know no one wants to hear that, but it's true. It all depends on your kid. Gracie slept through the night at 6 weeks old and has continued to sleep well ever since. Caleb still does not sleep through the night. I kid you not. That kid still gets me up at night and wakes every morning at 6:30. Luke is in the middle. He goes down pretty well but sleeps lightly.
Getting up at night is just something you have to get through. When you're in the middle of it, it seems like you will never sleep again. But, eventually, it will pass.
Don't be obnoxious
When I was a new mom, I was under the impression that everyone I knew was just dying to hear all about my baby. I would bore people with all the mundane details about her sleeping habits, eating habits, and doctor's visits. As soon as she started doing things, I would bore them with more details about how advanced she was. 8 years and three kids later, I cringe at how obnoxious I sounded. I was amazed by this thing called motherhood, and thought everyone else should be sharing in my wonder at that moment. They weren't. Save your gushing for the grandparents and spare the 22 yr old single guy at Bible study.
Do it your way
When you have your first baby, everyone wants to tell you how to take care of them. I remember the nurse in the maternity ward telling me not to wash her eyes with soap (really?). Then when you have another, they want to tell you how to manage all the sibling stuff. Old biddies will raise their eyebrows and make comments about them not being dressed for the weather or how the older sibling is going to start acting out now the new baby's here. It used to ruffle my feathers, but I learned to let it slide. I'm their mom, and I know what's best for them. Listen to good advice, but remember that you don't have to do it any way but your own.
This time, I'm just, well, waiting. Actually I don't feel like I'm waiting, because with three other kids here I sometimes forget I'm pregnant. I have no anxiousness. No impatience. And pretty much nothing to do baby-wise. I have girl clothes. I have boy clothes. I have a car seat and a high chair and a boppy and a bumbo and a double stroller and 2 diaper bags. I'm pretty much set.
Comparing this pregnancy to my first got me thinking about how much I've learned since baby number 1. I'm not saying I'm a baby expert, because every one is different. But it did get me thinking about the things I've really needed and used over the years and things that were just a waste of money.It also got me thinking about how many things I used to needlessly worry about. Here are some random reflections on those things.
Baby wipes warmers
Life is hard and wipes are cold. The sooner your baby figures this out, the better.
Boppy
You need one. I didn't have one the first time. I got one the second time around and realized how much easier breastfeeding was. Plus when they're super little you can prop them up in one to watch TV while you take a nap. just kidding.
Nursing cover
Back when I had baby number 1, we were still doing it the old fashioned way, holding a blanket between our teeth and hoping the wind didn't blow. Nursing covers are awesome.
Baby bathtubs
I never used a baby bathtub. I thought it was just easier to wash them in the sink. When they got a little bigger, I used the foam things they can lay on in the big tub.
Diaper stackers
What a waste of money. They look really cute in the nursery, but when you're dealing with a real blowout the last thing you want to do is try to reach through some pretty fabric and wriggle the diaper out.
A really good thermometer
These can get expensive, but just buy one. When your baby gets sick, you will feel so much better if you can get an accurate temperature. I need one. I am still wrestling my son to the ground like a greased pig to hold the thermometer under his arm.
Potty chairs
Potty chairs= twice the work. You have to empty it and clean it, plus clean the toilet. I like the little seats that sit right on the big toilet.
A playpen
If you have the space and a kid who won't scream in one, playpens are a great way to keep your baby safe while you get some things done. They can also keep things safe, like your Christmas tree. I have had several Christmas trees safely enshrined by a playpen.
Anti-tip brackets
'nuff said
Baby monitors
Maybe my kids are just exceptionally loud, but don't worry-you'll hear them when they wake up.
Nursing clothes
Nursing clothes are ok, but I found it's easier and cheaper to just buy a nursing camisole. You can wear it under all your usual clothes and still comfortably nurse the baby.
Swaddlers
When Gracie was born I would wrap her in receiving blankets which she would promptly kick off. Now they make these little baby-straight jackets that velcro in place and keep the baby snug and calm. Except for Luke. He used to just bust it open Incredible Hulk- style.
Hand me downs
Hand me down save you tons of money and time shopping. I've saved all three of my kids clothes and shoes. However, I've learned that, unless you're an exceptional laundress, some things aren't worth saving. These include onesies, washcloths, and socks. All three seem to get so stained and worn out that I just use them for rags and buy a fresh set for each baby.
Nurseries
Every woman dreams about the perfect, precious baby nursery. You can get complete sets with crib skirts and curtains, wall decals, and matching lamps and switch plates. But these things cost a ton of money, and chances are by the time your baby is three they'll have developed their own interests and tastes and you'll be replacing the Beatrix Potter collection from Pottery Barn with Thomas the Tank Engine from Target. You can save money by just buying a few pieces from a set and adding cheaper, coordinating pieces. Crib bumpers, curtains, crib skirts, and sheets are all things you can save money on. So splurge on the quilt and buy plain sheets.
However, if I have a girl this time, I have no intentions of following my own advice on this.
Every one has their opinion about how to get a baby to sleep well. There are books and methods devoted solely to this topic. Your mom and mother-in-law and granny and friends will all tell you how to do it. From swaddling to cereal to co-sleeping to crying-it-out.
Well, I am here to let you in on a little secret: there is no secret! You will either have a baby that sleeps or a baby that doesn't. I know no one wants to hear that, but it's true. It all depends on your kid. Gracie slept through the night at 6 weeks old and has continued to sleep well ever since. Caleb still does not sleep through the night. I kid you not. That kid still gets me up at night and wakes every morning at 6:30. Luke is in the middle. He goes down pretty well but sleeps lightly.
Getting up at night is just something you have to get through. When you're in the middle of it, it seems like you will never sleep again. But, eventually, it will pass.
Don't be obnoxious
When I was a new mom, I was under the impression that everyone I knew was just dying to hear all about my baby. I would bore people with all the mundane details about her sleeping habits, eating habits, and doctor's visits. As soon as she started doing things, I would bore them with more details about how advanced she was. 8 years and three kids later, I cringe at how obnoxious I sounded. I was amazed by this thing called motherhood, and thought everyone else should be sharing in my wonder at that moment. They weren't. Save your gushing for the grandparents and spare the 22 yr old single guy at Bible study.
Do it your way
When you have your first baby, everyone wants to tell you how to take care of them. I remember the nurse in the maternity ward telling me not to wash her eyes with soap (really?). Then when you have another, they want to tell you how to manage all the sibling stuff. Old biddies will raise their eyebrows and make comments about them not being dressed for the weather or how the older sibling is going to start acting out now the new baby's here. It used to ruffle my feathers, but I learned to let it slide. I'm their mom, and I know what's best for them. Listen to good advice, but remember that you don't have to do it any way but your own.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Going Crazy
So, as some of you have heard, baby #4 is due August 31! So far, the response I've gotten the most is, "I thought you were done?" to which I reply, "I was". But no, this baby was not a surprise. I just changed my mind.
Well, I changed my mind a hundred times. I was done. No I wasn't. Yes! I was. But maybe... it went on, and on for months. I was losing sleep.I couldn't think about anything else. I was getting obsessed. What should I do? I would tell Jeremiah something different every week- sometimes I would change my mind the same day!(he's a very patient man) I pride myself on being a pretty practical, down-to-earth kind of person, but I literally felt like I was losing my mind. Babies are powerful things.
Finally, we realized this wasn't going away, and the best thing to do was just go for it. It was scary! Another baby is going to make things crazy around here (more crazy!) ! But we knew in the long run, in the big picture, it will all be worth it. To look back one day and have no regrets, no what ifs? To have another person in our family to love and be loved by.
So the past few weeks have been busy. We really want Gracie to have her own room, (she shares with Caleb now) even if this baby is another girl (fingers crossed!!) We started turning the office area I'm sitting in now into a bedroom. Jeremiah's been sheet rocking and hammering up tiles and rewiring electrical outlets. We've been picking out furniture and carpet and paint. Baby #4 will be the first one to have a real "nursery", and Gracie will finally have her own bedroom. In some ways the baby I was afraid would complicate things is actually helping them fall into place.
There is one area though I AM freaking out about- school. The baby is due right when we usually start. I have a hard time keeping Caleb and Luke busy as it is- what's going to happen when I throw a nursing baby into the mix? To be perfectly honest, the first few days after we found out, I was starting to think about "real" school again. Maybe it would be better- Gracie would have a more structured day. She could take the bus, so I wouldn't even have to drive her. The responsibility would be off my shoulders. Someone else could worry about it. But is making her get up to ride the bus for an hour fair? Making her sit through busy work when she could be doing something more constructive? Miss out on our field trips and classes at the Wetland's Institute? I had no peace about it. It felt all wrong. Someday, it might be the right thing for us. But not yet.
So, I am still trying to come up with a game plan. One idea is to finish up 2nd in the spring and jump right into 3rd over the summer, then stop when the baby's born for a few months. The we could finish up 3rd later in the year on "schedule". I also looked into Switched on Schoolhouse, a completely software-based curriculum she can do on her own. It even plans lessons and grades for you. It would free me up to take care of the little guys but I'd still be available to help her when needed. It sounds great, but I've heard both really positive and really negative reviews. And I'm not sure I want her in front of a screen that long- I'm worried about her eyes, and carpal tunnel! Or, I could just relax. Not worry about it so much. Read some good books while the baby's sleeping. Teach her life skills about taking care of babies. Man that sounds great.
I do know, whatever we figure out about school time, I'm not letting anything take away from time with this baby. Baby #4 will forever be the baby of the family, and I plan to spend many hours cherishing those moments, home with ALL my babies.
Song for a Fifth (or fourth!) Child
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking. Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
Well, I changed my mind a hundred times. I was done. No I wasn't. Yes! I was. But maybe... it went on, and on for months. I was losing sleep.I couldn't think about anything else. I was getting obsessed. What should I do? I would tell Jeremiah something different every week- sometimes I would change my mind the same day!(he's a very patient man) I pride myself on being a pretty practical, down-to-earth kind of person, but I literally felt like I was losing my mind. Babies are powerful things.
Finally, we realized this wasn't going away, and the best thing to do was just go for it. It was scary! Another baby is going to make things crazy around here (more crazy!) ! But we knew in the long run, in the big picture, it will all be worth it. To look back one day and have no regrets, no what ifs? To have another person in our family to love and be loved by.
So the past few weeks have been busy. We really want Gracie to have her own room, (she shares with Caleb now) even if this baby is another girl (fingers crossed!!) We started turning the office area I'm sitting in now into a bedroom. Jeremiah's been sheet rocking and hammering up tiles and rewiring electrical outlets. We've been picking out furniture and carpet and paint. Baby #4 will be the first one to have a real "nursery", and Gracie will finally have her own bedroom. In some ways the baby I was afraid would complicate things is actually helping them fall into place.
There is one area though I AM freaking out about- school. The baby is due right when we usually start. I have a hard time keeping Caleb and Luke busy as it is- what's going to happen when I throw a nursing baby into the mix? To be perfectly honest, the first few days after we found out, I was starting to think about "real" school again. Maybe it would be better- Gracie would have a more structured day. She could take the bus, so I wouldn't even have to drive her. The responsibility would be off my shoulders. Someone else could worry about it. But is making her get up to ride the bus for an hour fair? Making her sit through busy work when she could be doing something more constructive? Miss out on our field trips and classes at the Wetland's Institute? I had no peace about it. It felt all wrong. Someday, it might be the right thing for us. But not yet.
So, I am still trying to come up with a game plan. One idea is to finish up 2nd in the spring and jump right into 3rd over the summer, then stop when the baby's born for a few months. The we could finish up 3rd later in the year on "schedule". I also looked into Switched on Schoolhouse, a completely software-based curriculum she can do on her own. It even plans lessons and grades for you. It would free me up to take care of the little guys but I'd still be available to help her when needed. It sounds great, but I've heard both really positive and really negative reviews. And I'm not sure I want her in front of a screen that long- I'm worried about her eyes, and carpal tunnel! Or, I could just relax. Not worry about it so much. Read some good books while the baby's sleeping. Teach her life skills about taking care of babies. Man that sounds great.
I do know, whatever we figure out about school time, I'm not letting anything take away from time with this baby. Baby #4 will forever be the baby of the family, and I plan to spend many hours cherishing those moments, home with ALL my babies.
Song for a Fifth (or fourth!) Child
- by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking. Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Growing Thankful Hearts
If there's one thing I really want to ingrain upon my kids, it's a spirit of thankfulness. There's so much materialism and consumerism in our society that it's easy to become discontent. Every time we turn on the TV, we're bombarded with new toys and products we can't live without. Every five minutes a new phone or game system or whatever comes out and the one you have is obsolete.
I really, truly think of my family as wealthy. We don't have the newest car and I don't even own a cell phone. We don't eat out every week and we don't plan on taking the kids to Disney anytime soon. But we have plenty of food. We live in a comfortable house. Everyone has shoes that fit. We never miss a bill. My kids have toys exploding out of their closets and will get a few more when Christmas rolls around. We are doing great, and I want to make sure my kids- and I- appreciate it. I want to make sure we always remember all these good things are from God.
So this past week being Thanksgiving, I used the time to focus on our blessings, or as Caleb would call them, "bressin's". It wasn't an original idea, but we put up a "Thankfulness Tree". Just like a tree grows from a seed, I wanted to plant seeds of thankfulness in their hearts, nourish them, and watch them grow.
It was really simple to make. I cut up used paper grocery bags and taped them in the dining room.
I added an owl just for fun!
Then I cut out some leaves. Every morning after breakfast, the kids picked at least one thing they were thankful for, and we taped the leaves to the tree. Then we prayed and thanked God for those blessings, then recited Psalm 118:1.
As the week went on, the things they were thankful for went from the "standards" to more creative things- napkins, a woodstove. It was great to see the wheels turning, to see them realizing that these things we take for granted are indeed blessings to be thankful for. As a mom of a toddler, I too, am very thankful for napkins!
By Thanksgiving our tree was full of bressin's, and our hearts were full of thankfulness.
Then it was time to start preparing for the big day. While I baked pies, the kids occupied themselves with their own "Thanksgiving dinner".
Luke got bored and decided he would help me make the pies.
But he really just wanted to steal my apples!
Then, the night before Thanksgiving, the boys got sick with fevers and runny noses.Instead of going to Grammy's, she sent over some Thanksgiving "take-out".
As we sat down to eat, we realized just how much there was to be thankful for. The boys just had colds, and not a chronic illness. We had a loving family that sent us over food. There was pie and whipped cream and a toasty fire in the woodstove and each other.
Thanksgiving day might be over, but I want to continue cultivating those seeds of thankfulness all year.
I really, truly think of my family as wealthy. We don't have the newest car and I don't even own a cell phone. We don't eat out every week and we don't plan on taking the kids to Disney anytime soon. But we have plenty of food. We live in a comfortable house. Everyone has shoes that fit. We never miss a bill. My kids have toys exploding out of their closets and will get a few more when Christmas rolls around. We are doing great, and I want to make sure my kids- and I- appreciate it. I want to make sure we always remember all these good things are from God.
So this past week being Thanksgiving, I used the time to focus on our blessings, or as Caleb would call them, "bressin's". It wasn't an original idea, but we put up a "Thankfulness Tree". Just like a tree grows from a seed, I wanted to plant seeds of thankfulness in their hearts, nourish them, and watch them grow.
It was really simple to make. I cut up used paper grocery bags and taped them in the dining room.
I added an owl just for fun!
As the week went on, the things they were thankful for went from the "standards" to more creative things- napkins, a woodstove. It was great to see the wheels turning, to see them realizing that these things we take for granted are indeed blessings to be thankful for. As a mom of a toddler, I too, am very thankful for napkins!
By Thanksgiving our tree was full of bressin's, and our hearts were full of thankfulness.
Luke got bored and decided he would help me make the pies.
But he really just wanted to steal my apples!
As we sat down to eat, we realized just how much there was to be thankful for. The boys just had colds, and not a chronic illness. We had a loving family that sent us over food. There was pie and whipped cream and a toasty fire in the woodstove and each other.
Thanksgiving day might be over, but I want to continue cultivating those seeds of thankfulness all year.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Thomas, We Love You
It all started one Sunday morning when Gracie was 2 and 1/2 yrs old. She was home sick from church, and while flipping through the channels we stopped on Thomas and Friends. Since we were usually at church at that time, Gracie had never watched it. Little did we know what had started...
Gracie fell in love with Thomas. While most girls were sporting pink and white princess sneakers, Gracie was proudly showing off her Thomas sneaks. Her toddler bed was decked out in Thomas sheets and we started collecting wooden trains at $12 a pop. Her 3rd birthday was a Thomas theme. Finally, we made the Pilgrimage to the Mecca of Thomas fans- Day Out with Thomas at the Strasburg Railroad.
Then Caleb arrived, and the obsession intensified. His first word was, "THOOOMAA!" shouted at a very loud volume. More trains arrived. More clothes. I found myself on Ebay looking for size 4 Thomas sneakers because he refused to wear anything else on his feet. Books, videos, more parties and trips.
Now we're on kid number 3- and you guessed it- another Thomas fan. We're just happy to be getting a good return on our investment. We've probably sunk $400 in Thomas paraphernalia over the years, so the more use it gets, the better.
I'm not just blogging about Thomas because I have no life now. My point is, I love Thomas too.Because Thomas helps me homeschool.
When we started this year, it became clear that Luke was having none of this school-time nonsense. As far as he's concerned, it's all about him, and he lets me know that loud and clear. There was a point about three weeks into this year when I was pretty sure I was gonna have to pony up five thousand bucks and send Gracie to school. The thing was, I didn't want my boys camped out in front of the TV so I could teach Gracie. I wanted them to happily play or do something constructive, not turn into mindless slugs because the TV rotted their brains. But after a month of screaming, temper tantrums, and head banging, it became clear I had a choice to make: send Gracie back to school or turn on Thomas.
I chose Thomas. And now, I'm ok with it. There are worse things as a parent then letting your kids watch TV for 2 hours every morning. Even as I type that, I feel embarrassed, like I failed. But the way I see it, they're not stuck in daycare all day. I spend lots of time doing things with them the rest of the day. So if watching a big blue train helps Gracie learn math and language, so be it. It really is my only option for now.
I'll leave you with my all-time favorite Thomas video. I hope you find it as inspiring as I do.
Gracie fell in love with Thomas. While most girls were sporting pink and white princess sneakers, Gracie was proudly showing off her Thomas sneaks. Her toddler bed was decked out in Thomas sheets and we started collecting wooden trains at $12 a pop. Her 3rd birthday was a Thomas theme. Finally, we made the Pilgrimage to the Mecca of Thomas fans- Day Out with Thomas at the Strasburg Railroad.
Then Caleb arrived, and the obsession intensified. His first word was, "THOOOMAA!" shouted at a very loud volume. More trains arrived. More clothes. I found myself on Ebay looking for size 4 Thomas sneakers because he refused to wear anything else on his feet. Books, videos, more parties and trips.
Now we're on kid number 3- and you guessed it- another Thomas fan. We're just happy to be getting a good return on our investment. We've probably sunk $400 in Thomas paraphernalia over the years, so the more use it gets, the better.
I'm not just blogging about Thomas because I have no life now. My point is, I love Thomas too.Because Thomas helps me homeschool.
When we started this year, it became clear that Luke was having none of this school-time nonsense. As far as he's concerned, it's all about him, and he lets me know that loud and clear. There was a point about three weeks into this year when I was pretty sure I was gonna have to pony up five thousand bucks and send Gracie to school. The thing was, I didn't want my boys camped out in front of the TV so I could teach Gracie. I wanted them to happily play or do something constructive, not turn into mindless slugs because the TV rotted their brains. But after a month of screaming, temper tantrums, and head banging, it became clear I had a choice to make: send Gracie back to school or turn on Thomas.
I chose Thomas. And now, I'm ok with it. There are worse things as a parent then letting your kids watch TV for 2 hours every morning. Even as I type that, I feel embarrassed, like I failed. But the way I see it, they're not stuck in daycare all day. I spend lots of time doing things with them the rest of the day. So if watching a big blue train helps Gracie learn math and language, so be it. It really is my only option for now.
I'll leave you with my all-time favorite Thomas video. I hope you find it as inspiring as I do.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Five Minutes
My kids love trick or treating. We don't actually "celebrate" Halloween, but we let them dress up as something friendly and go to their grandparent's for some candy. This year I heard about Halloween at Batsto from my sister-in-law. There were games, hot dogs and pony rides. Sounded like a great family fun day.
After lunch we got Gracie dressed in her bat costume and headed out (Caleb refused to dress up). Luke fell asleep in the car, and actually stayed asleep after I put him in the stroller. We visited with our family and the kids talked to their cousins, then got in line for a pony ride. It was really relaxing.
After the pony ride Gracie saw a bucket of treats. They had them set up at every game station. She asked if she could get one, and I said, "Sure, let's go play some games and then you'll get a prize!"
So we walked down the trail, away from the ponies and into the section where all the old cabins are. Gracie decided to play a ball-toss game. I stood about two feet away, and when she finished the kid in charge of the game said, "Ok, grab a prize!" I smiled at her and turned back to Jeremiah.
When I turned back again, she was gone.
I gave Jeremiah a puzzled look. "Where'd she go?" he asked. " I don't know, she was right here." I looked behind a big tree next to the game she played. I looked behind a family next to us. I looked around at the other games.
Gracie isn't the kind of kid to run off by herself. She has always stuck right by me, always kept me in her peripherals. One time she burst into tears when I walked a few feet away at the store and she thought I left her. It was slowly dawning on me that if she wasn't here, it was because someone took her.
I ran behind the cabins and scanned the wood line. I ran back to where the crowd of people playing games was. "Gracie!" I called. A few people glanced up, surprised at my volume. Everyone was in costume, wearing black like Gracie, blending together. "Gracie!" more looks. I ran into the bathroom. "Gracie!" Back into the crowd. "GRACIE! GRACIE" Everyone was staring at me now. "Why don't they do something?!" I wondered. My life flashed before my eyes. Not my past life. My future life, my life without my sweet baby girl, my life as the mother of a missing child, a life of police calls and news segments. A life of not knowing. Somewhere in my panic I had a moment of clarity, and a feeling of something like, "this is the moment every mother dreads, but never believes will happen- the moment your old life is over and a different, , horrible, half-dead life begins." I thought this was the last picture I would ever take of her, the last picture of her sweet little face.
I started running up the trail now, screaming louder than ever. At this point I wanted everyone to pay attention, to know something was wrong. "GRRAAACIIEE!"
She ran up by my elbow. "Right here!" I stared at her. "Where were you?" I didn't recognize my voice. It was hoarse and shaky. "I went to get a prize", she shrugged.
I guess she is the kind of kid to run off by herself.
As if in a trance I turned and started walking back to the car, which was difficult now because all my limbs felt like jello. "You wanna go home?" Jeremiah asked. I couldn't even answer. I just kept walking, Gracie's hand tightly in mine. A relaxing family day had almost turned into a nightmare.
We got into the car and I immediately dissolved into tears. I cried off and on the whole way home, and when I got home I laid down because my legs were still shaking and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I'd say it took me a good two hours to calm down. But all evening, the event kept playing through my mind like a video.
When the kid running the game told her to get a prize, I turned my back and she took off running, down the trail, all the way back to where the ponies were. Knowing Gracie, she probably sifted through the prize bucket and took her sweet time deciding what she wanted, which in the end was a bag of cheese curls. Then she had a leisurely walk back in our direction, until she heard me screaming like a maniac and decided she better hurry up. I don't know how long she was actually gone. Maybe ten minutes? Probably more like five. But they were by far the longest five minutes of my life, five minutes in a hellish world without my child.
It made me realize that, as homeschoolers, this is one area we need to emphasize more. My kids are always with me. We get together with safe communities of friends and family. Of course we've told them, "don't talk to strangers", but they are definitely not as street smart as I was at their age. Gracie saw no danger in running off by herself to grab a prize. We had a good long talk about what happened, how dangerous it was, and what we will do in the future.(Specifically, NOT RUN OFF!)
The thing that I STILL cannot get over is how fast she disappeared. One of the things convincing me she was abducted was that it seemed impossible for her to run off that fast. I had my back turned for one minute- but that was all it took. Scary. Even now I get a sick feeling, thinking about how differently it could have turned out. All those people -in costumes- making them impossible to identify. Candy and ponies everywhere, prime fodder some evil sicko could use to lure my daughter away. But it didn't happen that way, and for that I thank God. Because even though I turned my back for a minute, He never turns His. He was right there, holding her hand tighter than I ever could.
After lunch we got Gracie dressed in her bat costume and headed out (Caleb refused to dress up). Luke fell asleep in the car, and actually stayed asleep after I put him in the stroller. We visited with our family and the kids talked to their cousins, then got in line for a pony ride. It was really relaxing.
So we walked down the trail, away from the ponies and into the section where all the old cabins are. Gracie decided to play a ball-toss game. I stood about two feet away, and when she finished the kid in charge of the game said, "Ok, grab a prize!" I smiled at her and turned back to Jeremiah.
When I turned back again, she was gone.
I gave Jeremiah a puzzled look. "Where'd she go?" he asked. " I don't know, she was right here." I looked behind a big tree next to the game she played. I looked behind a family next to us. I looked around at the other games.
Gracie isn't the kind of kid to run off by herself. She has always stuck right by me, always kept me in her peripherals. One time she burst into tears when I walked a few feet away at the store and she thought I left her. It was slowly dawning on me that if she wasn't here, it was because someone took her.
I ran behind the cabins and scanned the wood line. I ran back to where the crowd of people playing games was. "Gracie!" I called. A few people glanced up, surprised at my volume. Everyone was in costume, wearing black like Gracie, blending together. "Gracie!" more looks. I ran into the bathroom. "Gracie!" Back into the crowd. "GRACIE! GRACIE" Everyone was staring at me now. "Why don't they do something?!" I wondered. My life flashed before my eyes. Not my past life. My future life, my life without my sweet baby girl, my life as the mother of a missing child, a life of police calls and news segments. A life of not knowing. Somewhere in my panic I had a moment of clarity, and a feeling of something like, "this is the moment every mother dreads, but never believes will happen- the moment your old life is over and a different, , horrible, half-dead life begins." I thought this was the last picture I would ever take of her, the last picture of her sweet little face.
She ran up by my elbow. "Right here!" I stared at her. "Where were you?" I didn't recognize my voice. It was hoarse and shaky. "I went to get a prize", she shrugged.
I guess she is the kind of kid to run off by herself.
As if in a trance I turned and started walking back to the car, which was difficult now because all my limbs felt like jello. "You wanna go home?" Jeremiah asked. I couldn't even answer. I just kept walking, Gracie's hand tightly in mine. A relaxing family day had almost turned into a nightmare.
We got into the car and I immediately dissolved into tears. I cried off and on the whole way home, and when I got home I laid down because my legs were still shaking and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I'd say it took me a good two hours to calm down. But all evening, the event kept playing through my mind like a video.
When the kid running the game told her to get a prize, I turned my back and she took off running, down the trail, all the way back to where the ponies were. Knowing Gracie, she probably sifted through the prize bucket and took her sweet time deciding what she wanted, which in the end was a bag of cheese curls. Then she had a leisurely walk back in our direction, until she heard me screaming like a maniac and decided she better hurry up. I don't know how long she was actually gone. Maybe ten minutes? Probably more like five. But they were by far the longest five minutes of my life, five minutes in a hellish world without my child.
It made me realize that, as homeschoolers, this is one area we need to emphasize more. My kids are always with me. We get together with safe communities of friends and family. Of course we've told them, "don't talk to strangers", but they are definitely not as street smart as I was at their age. Gracie saw no danger in running off by herself to grab a prize. We had a good long talk about what happened, how dangerous it was, and what we will do in the future.(Specifically, NOT RUN OFF!)
The thing that I STILL cannot get over is how fast she disappeared. One of the things convincing me she was abducted was that it seemed impossible for her to run off that fast. I had my back turned for one minute- but that was all it took. Scary. Even now I get a sick feeling, thinking about how differently it could have turned out. All those people -in costumes- making them impossible to identify. Candy and ponies everywhere, prime fodder some evil sicko could use to lure my daughter away. But it didn't happen that way, and for that I thank God. Because even though I turned my back for a minute, He never turns His. He was right there, holding her hand tighter than I ever could.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
I don't mean to brag, but...
...well, actually, I do. I am going to brag on Gracie right now and how stinking smart she is! Because it's my blog so I can do that. :)
Yesterday we went to our class at the Wetlands Institute. We went last year and loved it, so I signed Gracie up again. This month's class was about Bats. Gracie has been interested in bats for a while, and enjoys reading cute books like "Stellaluna" and "Bats at the Beach". This year our Science curriculum is Apologia's "Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day" and includes a chapter on bats. So when I found out that was the topic at the Wetlands, I decided to skip ahead in the book and do the bat lessons, in addition to some books from the library.
The teacher at the Wetlands started the class off with a friendly trivia game. Each side of the room was a team and had to discuss and answer some questions about bats. Some of the questions were easy, like, "Are bats really blind?" and some were harder.
Here's the part where I start bragging.
Gracie knew the answer to every question. She knew that bat babies are pups. She knew how many thousand insects they eat in an hour. She correctly guessed that there are nine different species of bats in New Jersey. One of the things that made me the proudest was when the teacher asked a question that all the other kids said was False. Gracie kept insisting that it was True, and she wouldn't give in. And she was correct. I was proud that she didn't doubt herself, and that she didn't let the other kids change her mind. She had confidence.
Then the question that brought a little tear to my eye. The teacher said it was a bonus question, and it was ok if nobody knew the exact answer, but if they were close enough they would get it. "What disease is killing off a large portion of the bat population?" Now, Gracie's seven, and we were in a room with some kids up to thirteen, and the moms were helping with answers too. None of them knew the answer. "Is it rabies?" a mom whispered. "No!" said Gracie, "it's white nose fungus!" The mom didn't think Gracie could possibly know and asked some of the older kids again. I gave Gracie a thumbs-up. The teacher asked for the answer, and Gracie told her.Two bonus points.
It was a validating experience for me. It's working. Homeschooling is working. Gracie is learning so much, and being challenged more than she would be in a traditional school setting. We have days that are full of interruptions and days that we don't feel like doing it. We have days that run perfectly. In the end they balance out and yes, she is learning something! A lot, actually! But more than that is she's enjoying it. Learning is fun and exciting to her, and as a result she's able to really understand things and retain all this information about bats and birds and Pilgrims because she wants to know. And that has been one of my main objectives from day one, to teach her to love learning. Once she's mastered that, nothing can stop her.
Yesterday we went to our class at the Wetlands Institute. We went last year and loved it, so I signed Gracie up again. This month's class was about Bats. Gracie has been interested in bats for a while, and enjoys reading cute books like "Stellaluna" and "Bats at the Beach". This year our Science curriculum is Apologia's "Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day" and includes a chapter on bats. So when I found out that was the topic at the Wetlands, I decided to skip ahead in the book and do the bat lessons, in addition to some books from the library.
The teacher at the Wetlands started the class off with a friendly trivia game. Each side of the room was a team and had to discuss and answer some questions about bats. Some of the questions were easy, like, "Are bats really blind?" and some were harder.
Here's the part where I start bragging.
Gracie knew the answer to every question. She knew that bat babies are pups. She knew how many thousand insects they eat in an hour. She correctly guessed that there are nine different species of bats in New Jersey. One of the things that made me the proudest was when the teacher asked a question that all the other kids said was False. Gracie kept insisting that it was True, and she wouldn't give in. And she was correct. I was proud that she didn't doubt herself, and that she didn't let the other kids change her mind. She had confidence.
Then the question that brought a little tear to my eye. The teacher said it was a bonus question, and it was ok if nobody knew the exact answer, but if they were close enough they would get it. "What disease is killing off a large portion of the bat population?" Now, Gracie's seven, and we were in a room with some kids up to thirteen, and the moms were helping with answers too. None of them knew the answer. "Is it rabies?" a mom whispered. "No!" said Gracie, "it's white nose fungus!" The mom didn't think Gracie could possibly know and asked some of the older kids again. I gave Gracie a thumbs-up. The teacher asked for the answer, and Gracie told her.Two bonus points.
It was a validating experience for me. It's working. Homeschooling is working. Gracie is learning so much, and being challenged more than she would be in a traditional school setting. We have days that are full of interruptions and days that we don't feel like doing it. We have days that run perfectly. In the end they balance out and yes, she is learning something! A lot, actually! But more than that is she's enjoying it. Learning is fun and exciting to her, and as a result she's able to really understand things and retain all this information about bats and birds and Pilgrims because she wants to know. And that has been one of my main objectives from day one, to teach her to love learning. Once she's mastered that, nothing can stop her.
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