Nostalgia

Fall is here,hear the yell
back to school,ring the bell
brand new shoes,walking blues
climb the fence,books and pens
I can tell that we are gonna be friends
 
Walk with me,Suzy Lee
through the park and by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we found
then safely walk to school
without a sound

Here we are,no one else
we walked to school all by ourselves
there's dirt on our uniforms
from chasing all the ants and worms
we clean up and now its time to learn

Numbers,letters,learn to spell
nouns,and books,and show and tell
at playtime we will throw the ball
back to class,through the hall
teacher marks our height
against the wall

And we don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing

Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed
when silly thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphabet
and when I wake tomorrow I'll bet
that you and I will walk together again
I can tell that we are gonna be friends
I can tell that we are gonna be friends
We are Going to be Friends- The White Stripes

I am so glad we made the choice to homeschool. I am completely confident it's the right path for our family. I rarely worry about academics, or socialization, grade levels or test scores, or the slew of other topics I should be worried about. In my dark moments, it's pure nostalgia that makes me doubt.

I remember picking out my lunchbox for the year
My new saddle shoes
My mom doing my hair in pigtails and my bangs cut way too short
The way school smelled when you first walked in after summer break
My plaid uniform jumper
Show and tell
Wearing my tie on chapel day
Trading snacks at lunch-nobody seemed to have food allergies then
Reciting catechisms
I think about a hundred pointless little things, and sometimes, I think maybe school isn't really so bad. Maybe I'm making a big deal over nothing.

But it is a big deal. The mind is a funny thing, because even though my own school experiences were often less than ideal (and some were terrible), my brain can still trick me into feeling all wistful and gooey. It's amazing how conditioned we are. As much as I like homeschooling, there's still a part of me that doesn't like doing something "different" (even though it's not that uncommon anymore). Part of me that just wants to go along with the norm because that's just what people do. School is just part of growing up. Everyone does it and everyone hates it and then you grow up and laugh about it and send your kid there.

Of course I have to remember that I'm thinking about school twenty years ago, and it was a private, church-run school. School today is very different, as evidenced by the growing numbers of shootings, bullying, and hyper-sexual behavior of students... and teachers. And even twenty years ago my playground was more like Lord of the Flies than Sesame Street (in case you're wondering, I was the Simon of the group, and look what happened to him). But I sometimes wonder when we read a book or watch a show about kids at school, if Gracie feels like she's missing anything.

I think she is missing something.We all are. It's not school. It's the way school could be.

At any rate, when I get all misty-eyed and doubtful listening to The White Stripes, it helps to think of another famous school song:


We don’t need no education
We don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the class room
Teachers leave those kids alone
Hey, teachers! Leave those kids alone!

All in all, it's just another brick in the wall  :)