This time, I'm just, well, waiting. Actually I don't feel like I'm waiting, because with three other kids here I sometimes forget I'm pregnant. I have no anxiousness. No impatience. And pretty much nothing to do baby-wise. I have girl clothes. I have boy clothes. I have a car seat and a high chair and a boppy and a bumbo and a double stroller and 2 diaper bags. I'm pretty much set.
Comparing this pregnancy to my first got me thinking about how much I've learned since baby number 1. I'm not saying I'm a baby expert, because every one is different. But it did get me thinking about the things I've really needed and used over the years and things that were just a waste of money.It also got me thinking about how many things I used to needlessly worry about. Here are some random reflections on those things.
Baby wipes warmers
Life is hard and wipes are cold. The sooner your baby figures this out, the better.
Boppy
You need one. I didn't have one the first time. I got one the second time around and realized how much easier breastfeeding was. Plus when they're super little you can prop them up in one to watch TV while you take a nap. just kidding.
Nursing cover
Back when I had baby number 1, we were still doing it the old fashioned way, holding a blanket between our teeth and hoping the wind didn't blow. Nursing covers are awesome.
Baby bathtubs
I never used a baby bathtub. I thought it was just easier to wash them in the sink. When they got a little bigger, I used the foam things they can lay on in the big tub.
Diaper stackers
What a waste of money. They look really cute in the nursery, but when you're dealing with a real blowout the last thing you want to do is try to reach through some pretty fabric and wriggle the diaper out.
A really good thermometer
These can get expensive, but just buy one. When your baby gets sick, you will feel so much better if you can get an accurate temperature. I need one. I am still wrestling my son to the ground like a greased pig to hold the thermometer under his arm.
Potty chairs
Potty chairs= twice the work. You have to empty it and clean it, plus clean the toilet. I like the little seats that sit right on the big toilet.
A playpen
If you have the space and a kid who won't scream in one, playpens are a great way to keep your baby safe while you get some things done. They can also keep things safe, like your Christmas tree. I have had several Christmas trees safely enshrined by a playpen.
Anti-tip brackets
'nuff said
Baby monitors
Maybe my kids are just exceptionally loud, but don't worry-you'll hear them when they wake up.
Nursing clothes
Nursing clothes are ok, but I found it's easier and cheaper to just buy a nursing camisole. You can wear it under all your usual clothes and still comfortably nurse the baby.
Swaddlers
When Gracie was born I would wrap her in receiving blankets which she would promptly kick off. Now they make these little baby-straight jackets that velcro in place and keep the baby snug and calm. Except for Luke. He used to just bust it open Incredible Hulk- style.
Hand me downs
Hand me down save you tons of money and time shopping. I've saved all three of my kids clothes and shoes. However, I've learned that, unless you're an exceptional laundress, some things aren't worth saving. These include onesies, washcloths, and socks. All three seem to get so stained and worn out that I just use them for rags and buy a fresh set for each baby.
Nurseries
Every woman dreams about the perfect, precious baby nursery. You can get complete sets with crib skirts and curtains, wall decals, and matching lamps and switch plates. But these things cost a ton of money, and chances are by the time your baby is three they'll have developed their own interests and tastes and you'll be replacing the Beatrix Potter collection from Pottery Barn with Thomas the Tank Engine from Target. You can save money by just buying a few pieces from a set and adding cheaper, coordinating pieces. Crib bumpers, curtains, crib skirts, and sheets are all things you can save money on. So splurge on the quilt and buy plain sheets.
However, if I have a girl this time, I have no intentions of following my own advice on this.
Every one has their opinion about how to get a baby to sleep well. There are books and methods devoted solely to this topic. Your mom and mother-in-law and granny and friends will all tell you how to do it. From swaddling to cereal to co-sleeping to crying-it-out.
Well, I am here to let you in on a little secret: there is no secret! You will either have a baby that sleeps or a baby that doesn't. I know no one wants to hear that, but it's true. It all depends on your kid. Gracie slept through the night at 6 weeks old and has continued to sleep well ever since. Caleb still does not sleep through the night. I kid you not. That kid still gets me up at night and wakes every morning at 6:30. Luke is in the middle. He goes down pretty well but sleeps lightly.
Getting up at night is just something you have to get through. When you're in the middle of it, it seems like you will never sleep again. But, eventually, it will pass.
Don't be obnoxious
When I was a new mom, I was under the impression that everyone I knew was just dying to hear all about my baby. I would bore people with all the mundane details about her sleeping habits, eating habits, and doctor's visits. As soon as she started doing things, I would bore them with more details about how advanced she was. 8 years and three kids later, I cringe at how obnoxious I sounded. I was amazed by this thing called motherhood, and thought everyone else should be sharing in my wonder at that moment. They weren't. Save your gushing for the grandparents and spare the 22 yr old single guy at Bible study.
Do it your way
When you have your first baby, everyone wants to tell you how to take care of them. I remember the nurse in the maternity ward telling me not to wash her eyes with soap (really?). Then when you have another, they want to tell you how to manage all the sibling stuff. Old biddies will raise their eyebrows and make comments about them not being dressed for the weather or how the older sibling is going to start acting out now the new baby's here. It used to ruffle my feathers, but I learned to let it slide. I'm their mom, and I know what's best for them. Listen to good advice, but remember that you don't have to do it any way but your own.
