Sick Days

Last week we had a great week of school. We got a lot accomplished in the sense that I could really see areas where Gracie is growing and improving. We had uninterrupted time (which is rare) and she spent a lot of time practicing piano.

Then the kids got sick with hand, foot and mouth. It started with Luke and went down the line with Gracie getting it last. Caleb and Luke also developed ear infections with it. Luke was the worst as he couldn't sleep and for three nights we had a fussy, fevered, sweaty baby in bed keeping us up all night. We were all tired and at the doctor's office every other day with a different kid. Monday morning I told Gracie we weren't having any school.

It made me think back to last year when Gracie was in kindergarten. My kids are usually really healthy, but it seemed as soon as she started school, so did the sickness. We had a horrible winter. Gracie and Caleb both developed a hacking cough and were later diagnosed with RSV. They both had to use inhalers and I had to make phone calls to get the insurance company to cover a chamber to use with it. Caleb had non-stop ear infections and had to visit the ENT specialist to see if he needed tubes put in. I was still pregnant with Luke, and I started with the never-ending cough too. The grand finale came in March when everyone in the family came down with the stomach flu, with Gracie and me ending up in the ER overnight.

But you know what was the worst part of all the illness? School. If Gracie was sick, I had to set the alarm just to wake up to call the school. When I was a kid you just didn't show up, but now you have to call and let them know your kid will be out-as if that changes anything the teacher was planning to do! So after a sleepless night with ear aches and throw ups and changing sheets on the top bunk at 2 am, I had to get out of bed just to make a phone call. Then in the afternoon I had to drive to school, which meant waking a two year old up from his nap and dragging a sick kid out of the house, to pick up her make-up work. It irked me that a KINDERGARTEN student who was sick had make-up work. It was dumb stuff too, cutting and pasting and mindless coloring pages. And it wasn't one or two sheets, it was usually about eight. It was all the day's seat work plus that night's homework.

But since parents are stupid, it wasn't enough for me to decide my kid was sick and write a note to excuse her absence. In order for it to be excused, there had to be a doctor's note for every day she was home. If she was sick Monday, saw the doctor, but still had a fever Tuesday and Wednesday, only Monday was excused. I wasn't smart enough to take her temperature. I'm very much a libertarian and I resented not being able to decide if and when my kid should be home.

Then there were the days Caleb was sick. Gracie still had school, and I had to drag a sick two year old out to drop her off, since there was no bus (not that I would have wanted her on it anyway).
At the end of the year, despite me dutifully calling the school and writing notes, she had something like 12 "unexcused" absences.

So I have to say that sick days are one of my favorite things about homeschooling. If someone's sick, they get to stay home and rest. No phone calls begging permission. No explanatory notes. No scheduling doctor's appointments around school hours. And no work to make-up. We'll just pick up where we left off.

On the flip side, homeschooling works out great when your kid has symptoms that would keep them out of school, but they're still up and running around. You get to play it by ear. If Gracie is sick enough to want to lay down, I let her have off from school work. But if she just has a bad cold but is otherwise pretty happy,  we can go on with school work as planned.

Somehow though, no matter where your kid goes to school, mom never gets a sick day...

The Myth of Me Time

In the top drawer of my jewelry box, I have a scrap of newspaper that reads "Now...it's me time!" I don't remember what it was advertising, but I thought it was really funny and clipped it out. From time to time I leave it somewhere funny or ironic for Jeremiah to find. For instance, if I'm going out and he's staying with the kids I'll leave it behind, kind of like, "so long, sucker!". Other times I'll hand it to him like a get-out-of-jail free card, when the kids are really acting up. It makes us laugh in situations that could turn stressful, but the truth is, I never actually cash it in. I never want to. I don't really need me time.


I used to think I needed me time. As a new mom, I thought that's the way it was. You take care of your precious baby all day, and when your husband comes home it's his turn. He worked hard all day, but you did too. And you gave up a lot for that baby.Your job, your education, your body, your sleep, your free time. You  deserved a break. Not every day maybe, but it was your right as a mom to get out often for me time. Maybe shopping, out with friends, whatever you liked, you should get an equal chance to spend some time without the kids. And, me time was good for the whole family, because afterward you would be refreshed and therefore a better mom and wife.

Everyone has hobbies and interests they like to pursue. And sometimes, after the kids have been sick or something really stressful happens in your life, it's nice to get a chance to relax and be able to think. And I think it's good for husbands and wives to get out alone from time to time. The problem with me time, is it's all about "me".

When God first laid it on my heart to homeschool, the thing that I struggled with most was not socialization or if I would do a good job, it was giving up me time. See, I had this picture in my head that eventually all my kids would be in school and I would be alone all day. I was excited about that. I had plans to join the gym, get my nails done, keep my house immaculate, plant beautiful flowers, and stop at Starbucks once a week. The way I figured, all that free time would enable me to do an even better job at home, and everyone would benefit.

I didn't come up with the idea of me time on my own. It was fed to me in parenting books, womens' magazines, TV shows, and conversations. My own mother often tells me, "You need a break". It's a recurring complaint among moms, especially stay-at-home moms. "I just need a break!" "My husband doesn't realize what I go through all day!" "My kids are driving me nuts" "I need a night out...a massage...a day at the beach..." We need time to regroup, pamper ourselves, and feel beautiful again. Moms everywhere are worshiping a false god called "Me Time".

Me Time tells you you deserve more. Me Time tells you you're special. Me Time tells you you're a martyr. Me Time takes the focus off of others, and back on ME. But like all false gods, Me Time won't answer your prayers, and it won't solve your problems. You might feel good while you're out, but in a few days, you'll just want more Me Time.

Because Me Time is one of Satan's lies.Satan doesn't like moms staying home, or homeschooling their kids, and he wants to get us to stop doing what's right for our families, and therefore future generations, and start focusing on ourselves and what we "need". It's not hard to get us to think this way since our sin nature wants us to be on the throne in place of God, and since our society is saturated with the notion of "self".

Like I said, I used to subscribe to that school of thought. But slowly God worked on my heart until I learned how to enjoy my kids. And after I realized it was ok to enjoy them, I stopped feeling the need for so much me time. I still like to use the bathroom alone, but most of the time I'm good. I don't feel the anxiousness, the desperation. I also can't imagine not homeschooling. I would be sad to have them gone for six hours every day.


...through love serve one another. Galatians 5:13

...love covers a multitude of sins. I Peter 5:8 

...in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Philippians 2:3

...love is patient, love is kind...love bears all things. I Corinthians 13

...If anyone would come after me, let him take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

...I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live. Galatians 2:20

There's no me time mentioned in the Bible. But there is a whole lot of love,dying to self, and serving others. When we submit ourselves to God, He meets all our needs, including those for "me time."

 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Verse Folders

A week or so ago I wrote about some ideas for Scripture memory, so now I'll share the results.

We made "verse folders" using file folders. I have a huge pack I bought at BJ's for something else and now I'm trying to make good use of them. They're proving to be quite handy to have around.

First I printed out pages from http://www.homeschoolcreations.com/SparksAwanaVerses.html/.
I chose Ephesians 4:32 because there were some, um, "squabbles" that week. The kids cut them out and glued them in the folders. The pages were already colored so I let the kids decorate the folders.

                                                                            

                                                                                  
After that we put them into binders and wrote the reference on the tab, so they have their own "files".

                                                                      (this one is Caleb's)

I stapled a sandwich bag inside and put the verse scramble papers in it. At first I thought we would glue them on construction paper as a quiz at the end of the week, but by keeping them in the bag Gracie can review putting them in order again in the future.

The kids really enjoyed it and they both did really well learning the verse. Gracie has it memorized and was able to unscramble all the words.

                                     
Caleb learned it pretty well too!

                                    

But best of all, they took it to heart. A few days later I noticed Gracie being extra kind to Caleb. I was going to praise her, and before I could, she told me, "Mommy, I'm working hard at being kind". God's Word never returns void.

Organic Trash Farm

Spring is right around the corner, and I for one am very excited. Excited to get outside. Excited to plant my garden, my flower bed, and get our chicks. I love working outside. I wish I could be a yardmaker instead of a homemaker. The kids are anxious too. Gracie is talking about all the berry bushes she wants planted so she can eat them while she's outside playing. Caleb is really excited about the chicks and asks me every day if we're getting them. So now that the weather is getting nicer, we've been taking the opportunities to start some of our outside projects.

Our first project is to build the chicken coop and run. But before we can do that, we have a lot of yard clean-up to do. One of the things that drew me to homeschooling was the increased opportunity to teach my kids real-life skills and work ethic. They have chores to do every day, and are expected to help out with projects when they can. So I took them outside this morning to help clear out the spot. They were excited to do it,  because it meant we were one step closer to getting the chicks. They got busy picking up sticks and raking leaves, (sort of).

 

I knew we had some work ahead of us, but about 15 minutes into it, I started getting really overwhelmed and discouraged. There are window frames, stovepipes, bumpers, license plates, netting, assorted rusted metal.

                                                                               


And glass. Lots and lots of shattered glass. We did notice some of the glass when we first moved in. We kept showing each other, and commenting how weird it was. I don't know if this property used to be the dump, or if someone was just really lazy, but there is junk everywhere in the woods, and the glass keeps multiplying. As I was walking back I noticed some glittering and started raking it up. The more I raked, the more glass I found, until I had a big hole, and then a wheelbarrow, full of glass. Some of it was bottle necks.Why in the day and age of trash pick up do you need to bury bottles in the yard? Thanks a lot!

                                                                            

I cleared that section of the glass, but I know there's more in other spots. It makes me really mad, because for one the kids can't go barefoot, two, I'm going to keep running into it when I try to garden, and three, I don't want my animals getting hurt on it either. And I only scratched the surface. There's still more junk out there that was too big for me too move, like these pipes.

"100% Organic Chicken Eggs. Free-Range. Glass-Fed". I feel so frustrated! I envision my fat chickens eating bugs while the kids collect huge brown eggs. I picture rows of mason jars, filled with bright colors, like pieces of tasty art on my shelves. I dream about getting up at dawn to milk the goats before the kids get up (well Caleb will be up) and experiencing the satisfaction of knowing where my food came from. But what I have right now is car parts and shards of glass.

I know nothing worthwhile is easy. I didn't expect it would be, I just didn't expect so much  junk. It will literally take years until we can get rid of all the debris and clear out some nice areas. I guess in the end it will make all our efforts more rewarding, but in the meantime, I'm still trying to figure out where to build the chicken coop, and hoping that, someday, we will find the last piece of glass.

                                                                    

Bible Memory

Growing up I was blessed to attend a church that had a great AWANA program. There were hundreds of kids and so many dedicated, enthusiastic volunteers, I looked forward to it every week. We played crazy games and earned dollars to spend at the Trading Post. But most importantly, we memorized Scripture. I attended AWANA from Cubbies to Chums and memorized hundreds of verses over the years. And I still have them hidden in my heart.

So when I realized my kids were not memorizing Scripture, I felt pretty ashamed. We read the Bible every night before bed and study the Bible as part of our homeschool curriculum, but we've never made a point of memorizing Bible verses. We don't have an AWANA program to fall back on, so if my kids are going to memorize Scripture, it's up to me.

The first thing I did was go to the AWANA website to order the books. But guess what? You can't order them! You can only order with a church account. Then I tried to log in as a church Why?! Why don't they want people to buy the books? I don't know. But it sent me on a mission to find our own Scripture memory program.

I realize I could just open the Bible and write a verse on an index card, but I wanted something a little more fun and crafty. So I did some google-ing and will share with you the links I found useful.

AWANA verses
This site is cool because it lists the AWANA Cubbies and Sparks verses and includes print-outs with cute pictures and a word-scramble game.


easy Bible verses
This one had some cute coloring pages.


childrens chapel
Here's a long list of verses with coloring pages.


Scrapbooking Bible verses
This site had some really cute printouts, but I felt the verses were a little long for my kids. This would be a great resource for older kids.

I also checked out the "Hide 'em in Your Heart" CDs by Steve Green. I was a little worried there would be excessive cheesiness, since it's from the 90's (80's?) and it's Steve Green, but when I listened to the sample I realized I knew most of the songs, I guess from school. Then I felt all nostalgic and decided to download the MP3 at Amazon. You can too.

cheestastic Scripture memory songs you know you love

I personally am going to start with the AWANA verses and use the other sites when they correlate with our curriculum or the seasons. I plan on using file folders to glue the verses into so the kids can make "books"(I know Caleb particularly will like this.) Then we'll put them into binders so they can go back and review them. We're starting tonight, so I'll post pictures of how they turn out at the end of the week!

Outside

The past few days we've been blessed with great weather. It's been a loooong wet winter and we've been going a little bonkers stuck in the house. It's been awesome to get the kids outside for some fresh air, sunshine, and exercise.

Days like this I don't stress schoolwork too much. I would rather my kids spend their time outside than inside working in books. Some people might think this is negligent, or lazy, but I view it  much differently. In my opinion, there is a wealth of learning that happens outside.

When you step outside, it feels like your mind automatically clears. All the things that were weighing you down inside suddenly seem lighter, and you can see things with fresh perspective. There's less stuff vying for your attention. Outside there's no TV or computer, no phone ringing or radio playing. The only music is the birds singing, the wind blowing the leaves and the occasional percussion of a barking dog.

Outside my kids stop and notice tiny little bugs. They watch what they do, how they move. They try to guess what kind of bug it is. They give it sticks to see if it will climb, and dirt to see if it will dig. They listen to bird song and try to answer it. Then they look in the trees to see if they can spot it. They notice tree leaves and different kinds of bark. They find deer prints and acorns and pine cones and rocks. They play pirates and horses and dogs and farmers. They run and jump and climb without any Phys Ed class to tell them when and how. Outside they never fight and they never need me to tell them what to play.When they come in they are dirty and tired and very, very happy. We get baths and some lunch, then naps for the little guys. Then Gracie sits with a book and reads, and really focuses and thinks, because her mind is cleared from playing outside.

I think being outside is one of the best things about homeschooling. While other kids are inside a stuffy classroom, mine are running wild out back with no bells or lines or rules. Outside is a gift I can give them while they are young and need it most, one I hope they will always remember.

Someday

Gracie is running around outside on a plastic horse-head-on-a-stick named Blackie. The past few weeks have been filled with horse talk, out of nowhere- a sudden, insatiable interest in horses. I've tried to figure out what triggered it, if we read a book, or saw a show, but the kid can't help it. It's in her blood.

I was the horse-craziest girl you ever met. My grandfather died before I was born but was still a figure in my life through the stories I heard. He was an avid horseman and the barn at my grandmother's old house was filled with old saddles and halters, pieces of tack hung on the walls, and even some spurs, which were just for show. He loved his horses too much to use spurs. Inside the house was more evidence of his love for horses in photos and artwork. When he married my grandmother, her father, a farmer through the Great Depression, thought it inconceivable that anyone would own an animal that didn't work for them. But his horses were legendary, particularly a beautiful palomino which tragically hung itself by its halter. When my grandfather found him in the stall, he stayed in bed for days.

In addition to my grandfather's horses, my mother had her own ponies. One of my favorites stories was about a little Shetland she had that was so gentle she would ride him with only a halter, using twine for reins. She was riding him all over as young as 4 years old, but nobody worried. She knew how to ride, and he knew the way home. These family stories- combined with summer trips to Chincoteague, Black Beauty, National Velvet, My Friend Flicka, The Man from Snowy River, Wild Hearts Can't be Broken, The Saddle Club series-made growing up on a 50x100 lot in Rio Grande unbearable.

My desires were somewhat gratified in the form of riding lessons. I didn't fit in at the stables. All the rich Cape May girls boarded their horses and wore real breeches and boots and their own helmets. I wore jeans and boots from K-Mart, and I used a stable helmet I had to spray with Lysol when I was finished. But I didn't care.Their snobbery never bothered me, because real boots or no, I belonged there. I excelled in the sport, because it wasn't just fun-it was my life. I didn't just ride. I studied horses. I ate, slept, and breathed horses. I had a passion and a longing for them that I've never felt for anything else.

But the lessons weren't free and after a few years my family just couldn't afford it anymore.We went once in a while, and finally, not at all. I missed it, but somehow it made the longing easier to bear. The more I rode, the more I wanted my own horse, and when I stopped riding I was able to tuck the feelings away. I went to college, then got married, and the feelings became fond memories.

Now Gracie is asking for lessons, so I called around to some stables. $40 an hour. $50. Yikes. So I said what every parent says when they don't want to break a little heart. Someday. I heard that a lot when I was a kid. Now I know how my parents felt, watching me ride and study, knowing they could never give me a horse on our 50x100 lot.

I remember one morning a few years ago when we still lived in Port Republic. Jeremiah and I were talking about our to-do list around the yard, when suddenly, all the horse longing came bubbling up. I started crying. I felt guilty, and ungrateful. But I cried out to God anyway. "Lord I love it here. I'm so thankful I have this house, but please, let me have a farm someday!"

You know what? God cares. I have 10 acres now. So maybe someday Gracie. Maybe both our somedays will come.