The Myth of Me Time

In the top drawer of my jewelry box, I have a scrap of newspaper that reads "Now...it's me time!" I don't remember what it was advertising, but I thought it was really funny and clipped it out. From time to time I leave it somewhere funny or ironic for Jeremiah to find. For instance, if I'm going out and he's staying with the kids I'll leave it behind, kind of like, "so long, sucker!". Other times I'll hand it to him like a get-out-of-jail free card, when the kids are really acting up. It makes us laugh in situations that could turn stressful, but the truth is, I never actually cash it in. I never want to. I don't really need me time.


I used to think I needed me time. As a new mom, I thought that's the way it was. You take care of your precious baby all day, and when your husband comes home it's his turn. He worked hard all day, but you did too. And you gave up a lot for that baby.Your job, your education, your body, your sleep, your free time. You  deserved a break. Not every day maybe, but it was your right as a mom to get out often for me time. Maybe shopping, out with friends, whatever you liked, you should get an equal chance to spend some time without the kids. And, me time was good for the whole family, because afterward you would be refreshed and therefore a better mom and wife.

Everyone has hobbies and interests they like to pursue. And sometimes, after the kids have been sick or something really stressful happens in your life, it's nice to get a chance to relax and be able to think. And I think it's good for husbands and wives to get out alone from time to time. The problem with me time, is it's all about "me".

When God first laid it on my heart to homeschool, the thing that I struggled with most was not socialization or if I would do a good job, it was giving up me time. See, I had this picture in my head that eventually all my kids would be in school and I would be alone all day. I was excited about that. I had plans to join the gym, get my nails done, keep my house immaculate, plant beautiful flowers, and stop at Starbucks once a week. The way I figured, all that free time would enable me to do an even better job at home, and everyone would benefit.

I didn't come up with the idea of me time on my own. It was fed to me in parenting books, womens' magazines, TV shows, and conversations. My own mother often tells me, "You need a break". It's a recurring complaint among moms, especially stay-at-home moms. "I just need a break!" "My husband doesn't realize what I go through all day!" "My kids are driving me nuts" "I need a night out...a massage...a day at the beach..." We need time to regroup, pamper ourselves, and feel beautiful again. Moms everywhere are worshiping a false god called "Me Time".

Me Time tells you you deserve more. Me Time tells you you're special. Me Time tells you you're a martyr. Me Time takes the focus off of others, and back on ME. But like all false gods, Me Time won't answer your prayers, and it won't solve your problems. You might feel good while you're out, but in a few days, you'll just want more Me Time.

Because Me Time is one of Satan's lies.Satan doesn't like moms staying home, or homeschooling their kids, and he wants to get us to stop doing what's right for our families, and therefore future generations, and start focusing on ourselves and what we "need". It's not hard to get us to think this way since our sin nature wants us to be on the throne in place of God, and since our society is saturated with the notion of "self".

Like I said, I used to subscribe to that school of thought. But slowly God worked on my heart until I learned how to enjoy my kids. And after I realized it was ok to enjoy them, I stopped feeling the need for so much me time. I still like to use the bathroom alone, but most of the time I'm good. I don't feel the anxiousness, the desperation. I also can't imagine not homeschooling. I would be sad to have them gone for six hours every day.


...through love serve one another. Galatians 5:13

...love covers a multitude of sins. I Peter 5:8 

...in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Philippians 2:3

...love is patient, love is kind...love bears all things. I Corinthians 13

...If anyone would come after me, let him take up his cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

...I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live. Galatians 2:20

There's no me time mentioned in the Bible. But there is a whole lot of love,dying to self, and serving others. When we submit ourselves to God, He meets all our needs, including those for "me time."

 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31