Christmas and New Year's

Except for Caleb and I both being sick on Christmas day, we had a great holiday season. Of course, most of our learning centered around Christmas, and one book we focused on was "Clown of God" by Tomie dePaulo. It's part of our Five in a Row curriculum and using that as a springboard we also learned about Italy and treatment of the elderly. We had Gracie fairly young, and in addition to both sets of grandparents, she also has 3 great-grandmothers and one great-grandfather. My grandmother is the oldest at 89, and showing consideration  towards elderly people is something that really applies to her life, but isn't always easy for a kid to understand. The manners book I mentioned in my last post has a section devoted to relationships with the elderly, and we used that to start our discussions.

After that, we just made stuff! I was extra glad to have Gracie home to enjoy all the craftiness. The great thing about kids is how much they enjoy simple things. One of the things that intimidated me before I started homeschooling was how I was going to think up enough nifty crafts. But one afternoon we made paper snowflakes and Gracie remarked over and over how cool they were. All it took was some paper and scissors, and my kids had hours of fun. Plus my windows looked really cute. We also made some angels for the tree, super smell-good applesauce ornaments, lots of coloring pages, and of course COOKIES!! Here are some pictures:


                                       I know, I know. Caleb+ Scissors= Scary. But it went ok.

 These are the applesauce ornaments-

                                       

The cookies went like this:

                                       And here's Luke just cause I feel bad about leaving him out...

This week has been spent trying to re-group from Christmas. My house still looks like a bomb went off and we are trying to find spots to keep all the new toys. "School" will start up again next week, and in the meantime I've been asking myself what I hope to accomplish in the New Year. I'm not completely sure what the answer is, but I have a few ideas....

1) Responsibility!
Over the summer, Gracie had a list of chores to complete throughout the day. It went well at first, then she started dragging her feet. And whining. And taking four hours to wipe the bathroom sink. Then we started homeschooling, and it was really eating into our lesson time. I finally scrapped it. But now she's had a few months to get adjusted to school, and the chores are coming back. She's about to turn seven, and she really needs to develop some maturity and be more responsible for her belongings and her time. She's also moving up to the next age group at piano lessons, and it's going to be a little tougher. I think it will be good for her to have to work a little harder.

2) No more whining!
This kind of goes along with the responsibility. The past two months, Gracie has gotten into the habit of whining about school work. Seriously? She has three worksheets a day (phonics, Bible, math) and the rest of the time she doesn't even know we're doing "school". But she whines about the worksheets, especially phonics. At first I was going easy, giving her breaks.I didn't want her to get a "bad taste in her mouth" about school, but now I'm over it. Suck it up kiddo.

3) Find some more friends!
I know what you're thinking- "I knew it! homeschoolers have no friends!" not true. Gracie has friends. But I would like her to make a few more, and it would be a plus if they were also homeschooled. We've honestly put ourselves out there- gone to park day, rollerskating days, a field trip, and a monthly class at the Wetlands- and we still haven't managed to make any solid friendships. Rollerskating, for example, was all older kids. Nobody seemed to show up at the park. I've been friendly to other moms, but it's been HARD. Hard, because they've already done this, and have their group of friends established. They don't "need" us. Hard, because homeschoolers convene from all over, and a few nice people I've met live pretty far away. Hard, because some mornings Gracie insists on walking like a velociraptor in public.
I have wondered if I made a mistake by not joining the co-op...but then I think of all the extra pressure it would have been, and I know I couldn't have handled it this year. MAYBE next year...

Looking over this list, it seems like I'm making all the goals for Gracie, as if she is solely responsible for how school goes. For any of this to be accomplished, I have to not be lazy, be well-prepared, be consistent. Really, any goal I have for Gracie is also a goal for myself. Except the whining. That's her problem.

So overall, I would just like to develop some more routine and structure, while still remaining relaxed. Luke has really started settling into a schedule lately, and I think now things might start to run more smoothly. Christmas was a much-needed break, and now I'm itching to get going again!

Minding Your Manners

Ok, I am going to sound like an old grandma here...but kids today have absolutely no manners. I'm not talking about which fork to use- that's etiquette, and I'm not too worried about that. I'm talking about basic please-and-thank-yous, excuse me's, common courtesy. I can't tell you how many times I'm out in public and I see kids being just plain obnoxious. Running through stores, bumping into people (I told you I would sound like a grandma),whining for things they want, and interrupting their parents while they talk to someone. This is exactly how I don't want my kids to act.

My son is the worst offender. He wakes up about 7 every morning, marches out into the living room, and names his demands. "I want apple juice and Cheerios!" he doesn't even say good morning. One time he left out "I want" and simply declared, "Apple Juice!" Then as I am pouring the apple juice, he demands it four more times. Another obstacle to good manners is his complete lack of volume control. This morning in ShopRite he shouted, "Do you hear that OLD LADY laughing?" Yes, and now I SEE her giving us dirty looks...

The good news is, Caleb's lack of manners stems from his age. With time and training, he will learn not to behave that way. What bothers me are the older kids who still act like Caleb. This is not from immaturity, but from a lack of respect. I want my kids to be respectful. I don't want a bunch of self-centered brats. We live in a society of entitlists who don't think they or their kids should have to defer to anyone. Their kids are better than others and they don't need to say sorry if they knock mine over on the playground, or excuse me if they walk on my heel while they are texting. They seem to think practicing some manners would reveal some sort of character weakness, but in reality, the opposite is true. Manners show you are strong enough to put others first.

This is one area Jeremiah and I try to emphasize a lot with our kids. As six and three-yr-olds, we don't expect them to be the picture of perfect manners, but we do expect them to be courteous.That's why when I found a library book this morning called "Everyday Graces: A Child's Book of Good Manners", I was pretty psyched. It's a collection of poems, excerpts from stories, and even Bible verses, all teaching a lesson about manners. Some of the authors quoted are: Mark Twain, L.M. Montgomery,Robert Louis Stevenson, and C.S. Lewis, and some of the chapters include: Honoring Your Mother and Father, Helping Out at Home, Kind Words, Taming the Tongue, Befriending the Elderly, and lots lots more. I am definitely going to get my own copy and incorporate it into our lessons.

And, before you write me off as completely antiquated, the back cover says, "It's also a book of manners for rock stars"-Bono

Christmas is coming...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, homeschooling, books, all that good stuff...let's talk about CHRISTMAS. More specifically, the terrible time I am having trying to decide what to get Gracie. Gracie is a hard kid to buy for. She likes everything, but nothing in particular. She is interested in a wide range of things- dinosaurs, animals, art, cats, fairies, space, the ocean, Australia, bugs, sharks...you get the idea. So pegging down exactly what to get her makes my brain hurt.

Caleb is sooo easy. For all the hard times he gives me in other ways, he is so easy to please. Caleb's interests(after purposely driving me mad) go like this: 1)Thomas, followed by all other trains 2) Construction vehicles of any kind 3) pieces of wood 4) tools on which to bang said pieces of wood. Lately we have been having problems with woodstove kindling disappearing, only to find them holding up sections of Thomas' tracks or Lincoln logs. So this Christmas, Caleb is getting a huge set of big wooden blocks, a really cool working scoop loader, and a crane that goes with his Thomas set. Easy.

Back to Gracie. Now, I am usually impervious to the siren's song of name brands, and even pride myself on finding some really original, significant toys for my kids. With the exception of American Girl dolls. Those little harpies screech to me from every catalog "Buy me!"... "No me!"..."Buy us both!" On top of that, they hurl threats at me "Felicity will soon be gone! Buy her now before she's locked in the vault FOR-EV-ER!" (or until you find her on ebay). I don't know what it is about them. I love that they're all from a time period, so you feel like they're educational too. If I was filthy rich I would include American Girl doll books in our history lessons and buy every doll that went with them. I love that they look wholesome.I love that they have a "girl-power" vibe without being feminist.Maybe it's because I remember drooling over the catalog as an 8 yr old, back when it was still Pleasant Company and you could only choose from Kirsten, Samantha, or Molly. After pining away for a year and a half, my dreams came true and I got a Kirsten doll. It was all I hoped for, except her hair was horrible as soon as I brushed it (now they have the doll hospital for that). I loved the books just as much as the doll, and had the Samantha and Molly books too. After a few years I outgrew her, and my mother short-sightedly gave her, along with her blue bed and quilt, to a younger girl from our church. Then, last year, they retired her. I almost cried.

So over the past few years, the American Girl catalog has found it's way to our house. Gracie looks through them, and expresses interest, but never in a specific doll. I always thought it was something we'd get when she was older, but then this year, the 2010 doll of the year is Lanie, "an energetic girl who explores the world in her own back yard" She's blonde, and you can purchase an outfit that includes rubber galoshes. Gracie anyone? Her accessories include a jar of bugs, binoculars, and also woodland friends, a fox, an owl, and a squirrel. And, Yes, I totally recognize that Lanie is pushing the liberal environmentalist "Go Green" agenda.
But love is blind.

 

(Notice the Dorling Kindersley Field Guide to Birds?!)

We go to a monthly class for homeschoolers at the Wetlands Institute, and I can just picture Gracie now, releasing hatchling turtles into the ocean, rubber-galosh clad Lanie in tow.

Gracie...starts talking about Bitty Babies(?!)

Bitty Babies are adorable too, and you have to admit there's nothing cuter than a 6 yr old pushing a doll stroller. I want to get her what she wants...but Lanie is only here for THIS YEAR!! Yes I know! I am a complete sucker for their marketing ploys!

To make things even more painful for me, they also make "Bitty Twins" which look exactly like Caleb, which I have been forbidden to buy. (Although I have to admit the thought of two Calebs makes the side of my face twitch)

I should add now that I don't even really like dolls. Just these dolls.
If Gracie doesn't make up her mind soon, I am seriously going to put Lanie on my own wish list :)

Better Days

This week has gone a lot better than the last few, thanks mostly to some more tweaking of our system and a mattress pad. Yes, a mattress pad! Luke was still not sleeping at all during the day, and waking up every hour during the night. He always fell asleep in our arms, and as soon as he hit the crib, he was awake and screaming. I ended up putting him in bed with me a lot, and every time he zonked right out. So I thought that the crib mattress being so hard might be the problem. I got the mattress pad Monday, and he only woke up twice. Then Tuesday he took a TWO HOUR nap(!) and slept that night from 10-5. What a difference some sleep makes...

I also started "officially" including Caleb in our lessons. Every day he would ask, "You teach me?" so instead of waiting till he naps(which is never guaranteed anyway), we read the FIAR story with him and then while Gracie does seatwork he gets a coloring page of a shape, letter, number, or, Thomas the train(I don't tell him Thomas isn't actually "schoo-work", as he calls it) He's a smart little bugger and has known the alphabet since he was two, which further proves that kids are learning all the time, as I never taught him any letters. I still don't know how he picked them up.

After that we break for some lunch, then I do try to get Caleb and Luke to sleep, and Gracie and I work on phonics and math. I like to have at least math with no interruptions, as this seems to be what she is least interested in. Phonics is a breeze, but I am still doing the easy lessons because they include some good rules, and the easiness boosts her confidence anyway.

Then, for Bible, I passed the buck to Jeremiah. I wanted him to be included in some way so that Gracie would look at him as someone to learn from too, not just "Mom is the answer person". So they do that after dinner, which also frees up time for me during the day. We use Christian Light Bible, which I have to say is kind of dry and predictable. Every day is the same, read the passage, read the story, color the picture. I will definitely be looking for something else next year. Anyway, Jeremiah is doing really great with that, he taught her how to look up verses, which I didn't think to teach her yet. He also asks her to read as much of it as she can, and I was really, really surprised by how much she could read! I just take for granted that "it's the Bible, she can't read that yet", so it was really cool to see Jeremiah bring something out of her that I didn't even know was there.

I also ordered a 30-trial of the Muzzy Spanish program. I have been looking at programs since before we started, but I didn't know what was good, and they're always over $100. A lot of them had books for parents to read, which wouldn't work for us because I would mispronounce everything! I remembered Muzzy commercials from when I was kid and looked it up. It think it's mostly DVDs and CDs, so I don't have to do much of the teaching. ( I do know "taco", "burrito", and also, "cinnamon twists", lol) We can try it free for 30 days and if we want to keep it, we can pay monthly for 5 months. It is definitely becoming more and more useful, almost necessary, to know Spanish, and now is the time for them to learn it. Maybe I'll pick some up too. I am pretty excited about it.

Lastly, the biggest change of all- I started relaxing. One day I was doing the dishes, after making applesauce all morning. Luke was screaming, the house was a mess, and there was still school to do. I was getting stressed. My heart started racing like it was in my throat. Then I realized, this is ridiculous. Who am I trying to impress? Jeremiah doesn't care. My kids don't care. Why do I care? I don't have to bake all morning and clean the house and do schoolwork. I was making myself unhappy, and if momma ain't happy... it's true! My kids will never look back and remember that there was dishes on the counter in 2010. But they will remember if I was miserable. So I let it go. As long as we have clothes to wear, dishes to use, and clean bathrooms, we're good, and I can use the weekends to get caught up. I have the whole rest of my life to clean my house, but I only have a few precious years to raise my kids.

Besides, when they're bigger, they can clean it themselves :)

Baby blues

I have the baby blues. No, I'm not suffering from post-partum depression. I have a case of the Lukes.

It seems like Luke was trouble even before he was born. I've never really shared it, but before we were expecting Luke, I suffered a miscarriage. I was about 8 weeks along when it happened, and although it was a very sad experience, I thanked God I still had two healthy kids. I was pretty down and out for a few weeks afterward, and I felt the only way to "get over it" was to get pregnant again. There went from being a baby, to being no baby. I wanted there to be a baby. The doctor gave us the ok, and a month after the miscarriage, I was pregnant with Luke. Then he started giving me trouble...

About 8 weeks along again, I started bleeding. I called the doctor in a panic. I was able to get an ultrasound right away, and they said the baby had a strong heartbeat. That was good news. But there was no way to predict what might happen. They called it a "threatened miscarriage" and I was put on partial bed rest. I could get up and do normal things, but nothing strenuous. That continued for a few weeks. Then, finally, it stopped. Whew.

About 2 weeks later, Gracie started kindergarten. Her third day, she had some mild, cold-like symptoms. She had no fever and felt fine, so she went to school the next day. When I picked her up that afternoon, she was covered in a lacy red rash.  I took her to the doctor, who said she had fifth-disease, a common, nothing-to-worry-about virus- unless you're in the first trimester of pregnancy. If you contract it while pregnant, the baby can A) die or B) become anemic and need blood transfusions in-utero. Awesome. Needless to say, I was now a basket case. My only hope was that I had already had it earlier in life without knowing it( you don't always get the rash), because you can only get it once. I made an appointment for blood work. I had to wait a week for the appointment, and another week for the results. It seemed like forever. When I finally got the results, they showed I had not been exposed, which means I probably had it once already.

After those weeks of freak-outs, it was fairly smooth sailing for a while. The only "problem" was that every time I went for a check-up, they told me Luke's heart rate was "a little high", but "nothing to worry about" (THEN WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME??!).

Then, at 37 weeks, so close to the finish line, it hit me: the mother of all stomach flus. All day I was sick, until finally I was dehydrated. Gracie had it too, so together we went to the ER, only to lay on the waiting room chairs for six hours. We finally got treated, and I was anxious to go home. But...Luke's heart rate was"a little high".(I know! it's always high!) So instead of letting me go home, I had to be admitted to maternity to be monitored until his heart rate went back to normal. So I laid there for another hour, with all kinds of wires. His heart rate never went down, and they finally got word from my doctor that it seemed to be normal for him. At 4 am I went home.

Needless to say, I was anxious to have this baby. The doctor recommended I be induced, because Gracie was born in 15 minutes and Caleb in 5, so they were afraid I would have Luke in the minivan if I waited it out.
So on March 31st I got all hooked up with monitors and what not, and everything was going great, until I almost died.

I'm not joking, and if you know me, you know I'm not a drama queen. Luke tried to kill me. For whatever reason, my blood pressure and heart rate dropped, and I felt like I was floating. Everything was fuzzy around the corners of my eyes- tunnel vision, and I knew without a doubt, that if I closed my eyes, it was all over.All I could think was I was going to die and Jeremiah was going to be left to raise our kids alone. I just kept praying and praying and focusing on Jeremiah, just trying to keep my eyes open. I just wanted to shut them and go to sleep. Voices were muffled. Oxygen was hooked up. Shots were given. There were about seven extra people in the room, all of whom I later realized were specialists they had called in to be on hand for whatever happened next. Finally whatever medicine they gave me kicked in, and I started to come around. They told me Luke was ready to go...but his heart rate was "a little high" (ugh!)

Later I wondered if the delivery was really as scary as I thought. We didn't talk about it for a few weeks. Then one day I asked Jeremiah if I had exaggerated it in my head. "No," he said, "you were cashing in your chips".

So here I am, almost seven months later, with my strong, beautiful, healthy (although his heart rate remains, "a little high") MONSTER. I love him to death, but the kid is a pain in the butt! All he does is cry. But not pitiful, make-you-feel-sorry cry. Demanding ,hey-lady-pick-me-up-now! cry. He is absolutely incapable of entertaining himself. In the swing...cry. In the playpen...cry. Jumper...cry. You get the idea. And he's sneaky. He tricks people. Everyone thinks he is a calm, happy baby, because whenever we are out, I'm holding him. But as soon as we get home, and I set him down, his evil twin emerges and demands my unadulterated attention.

So here I am, trying to homeschool Gracie, with a screaming baby. We started doing schoolwork in the afternoons. Gracie can play with Caleb in the morning, then after lunch it's naptime for both boys and she and I do her lessons. It looks good on paper, except Luke never sleeps. I get him in for a nap. I start with Gracie. 10 minutes into it, he's screaming. I get him back to sleep. Or sometimes I don't, and he just screams while I shout over him. Or I hold him on my lap while he grabs the books, crumples the pages, yanks my hair, smudges my glasses. Very frustrating.

I should insert here, to his credit, Luke does sleep pretty well at night, most of the time. I guess I would be a zombie if he didn't.

The only thing keeping me going at this point, is that it won't be like this forever, and I guess it's better to interrupt first grade work than something harder. My mom always says, "Don't wish it away" and I don't want to do that, but...I do dream of homeschooling my kids with no one screaming. Of reading a book without stopping six times to wipe up spit-up. Then I kiss his chubby little cheeks and he smiles his gigantic smile and feel guilty I ever felt this way.


'Cause babies don't keep.

Casualties of homeschooling

I knew when I we began homeschooling that some things would change around here. I knew I would sacrifice my free time. The time I used to read in the afternoon. The opportunity to take an uninterrupted shower. My desire to have any more children, ever. (lol) My sanity.I also knew I would have to lower my housekeeping standards. That was the hardest part for me, because I am really uptight about my house. I cannot relax until everything is cleaned up and organized. That's not to say it always is- just that I am on edge until it gets that way. It's something I need to work on anyway, as I drive everyone nuts barking out orders to clean things up. So I knew I was going to have to chill out a little. But it hasn't been easy, especially now that we are in our new house.We want to keep it nice, and we'll spend a little extra for better quality trim or paint. Toys stay in the bedrooms. No food in the living room. And don't bang the cabinets.

When we moved in the first thing we redid was the dining room. The previous owner used it as an office and it was carpeted with old, smelly, stained carpet. The white paint was dingy and dark wood trim in each corner concealed the fact that they never completed the drywall. We ripped up the horrible carpet and replaced it with laminate hardwood. We patched up the drywall and painted a cheery, mustard yellow from the Benjamin Moore colonial collection.We finished it up with soft white trim. I added cranberry curtains and accents. It is by far my favorite room. At our old house we ate in our living room, and this is like a dream come true.

It was also the ideal place to do schoolwork, so when we got started I moved everything in there and organized it in wooden cabinet I've had since we first got married. I keep the books, manipulatives, crayons, pencils, glue, markers, everything there. I wanted it to be accessible so the kids could get things out whenever they were feeling creative and make little masterpieces. I imagined Gracie as a famous illustrator one day, telling an interviewer, "My mother really nurtured my creativity...growing up, no art supplies were off limits, I was always free to express myself!" the problem is, in my fantasy, they put the supplies BACK WHERE THEY FOUND THEM. This has not been the case.

I started noticing that stacks of paper were slowly taking over my house. A little pile on the kitchen counter. A little pile on the desk. A few more sheets on the coffee table. Some papers with shapes cut out on the kitchen floor. Then I started finding chewed up crayons in the dog's bed. Before I knew it, there were papers and pencils and crayons scattered all through the house. Even in the bathroom! "Clean up your art stuff guys!" I must have said it six times a day, yet every time I turned around, there was MORE. It's just the way things are when you homeschool, I thought. I started cleaning it up myself too, but it never seemed to help.

I sat the kids down and told them they had to start asking before they got out supplies, and when they were finished, clean them up. "Ok!"...and they forgot.

Then yesterday was a particularly hectic day. Caleb was extra bad all day. I woke up with a migraine and found  him standing in the open fridge, chucking lemons and apples across the kitchen like baseballs and the dog chewing on one. While I was helping Gracie with math he got a Sharpie and colored his hands. All day was like that. We topped it all off with a last-minute trip to a masonry supply store to buy stone for our woodstove. They were trying to close and we were trying to shop and Caleb was trying to climb the samples in the showroom. We were tired and stressed and had dinner late.

I finally got the dishes done about eight and started to wash the table in my beautiful dining room. I glanced up and when I saw it I actually felt sick to my stomach. Scribble marks from one end of the wall to the other, all over my gorgeous yellow paint, up and down and curled around, darker in some places where he had pressed extra hard. He left his weapon at the scene. A lone pencil, now dull from his merciless rubbing.
"CALEB!!!"

Needless to say, his butt was mine, as are all the art supplies now. Gracie is not allowed to use them either, because she was irresponsible and left them out where Caleb could get them. They are all in a box up in a cabinet. They are not allowed to ask for them. When I decide they can color, that's when they can color. It's a pain having to retrieve them when Gracie does schoolwork or to write something down ourselves, but for now it's the only way. The piles of paper were put in recycling, except for a few exceptional ones that I saved for posterity. It's a shame it had to come to this, but I feel like I got some order back in my house. And, for the rest of the week, Luke is my favorite child.

Rowing

This past week we completed our first week of the Five in a Row curriculum. It was AWESOME! I can't believe what a difference it made. For the first week since we started it felt like we were actually learning something.


If you're not familiar with Five in a Row, it's more of a guide book than an actual curriculum. The way it works is you read the same book five days in a row, and every day you focus on a different topic gleaned from the book. This week we read "The Story About Ping" by Marjorie Flack. Ping is a little yellow duck who lives on a boat on the Yangtze River in China. One day while diving for fish he misses his master's call to board the boat. By the time he resurfaces he realizes he will be the last duck to board and will receive a spank on the back. To avoid his punishment he hides on the river bank. Soon he is cold and lonely, and almost becomes duck dinner. When he find his way back to his boat, he is the last duck again, but he has learned his lesson and accepts his spank so that he can be safe and warm with his insanely large family.

It sounds like a simple kid's story, but when you really start to peel back the layers, there is so much more to it than that. Ping must face the consequences of his decision. There's a moral/character lesson. It's set on the Yangtze River in China, so there's geography. You can study ducks for science, or buoyancy, or water. Every page is illustrated, so you can study art. Using the Five in a Row guide was like having a blindfold taken off. Instead of just reading a children's book, which I do every day, about three times a day, we were really READING it. Here's how we did it:

Monday: Literature, what that is. Fiction vs. Non-Fiction. What makes a classic? Gracie dictated her own story to me.
Tuesday: Ping's decision, using discernment. Talked about strangers, keeping secrets from parents, peer pressure
Wednesday: Illustrations- medium, viewpoint, shadowing, reflection and movement on water
Thursday: Light and reflections, refraction. Looked at different objects through a jar of water
Friday: My favorite day. Life in China, locating China on the map. Religion and government of China, food, animals. Gracie later remarked that she was really glad we live in a free country. Watched some scenes from "The Inn of the Sixth Happiness", which is about the life of missionary Gladys Aylward.(Netflix is a great resource for homeschooling!). I was really excited to tie the topic into missions. We made a "kah-mee-shee-bye"(phonetic spelling!), which is a "story box". You make picture cards, then as you tell the story you slide them through a slit in a box, making a little theater. It's actually Japanese but I couldn't find any Chinese crafts, so that led us to talk about Asia as a whole! For dinner that night we ordered Chinese take out and
(this was Jeremiah's favorite part, lol) ate on the floor like they sometimes do in China. After dinner Gracie retold us the story of Ping using her story box.

Another advantage of Five in a Row is there's more opportunity to include Caleb in what we're doing. He liked reading Ping too and helped decorate the story box. He was also surprisingly deft with chopsticks!

It was a great week, and I am sooo happy I started Five in a Row. This next week we're reading Madeline and studying France of course, and the human body(Madeline has her appendix removed). There's no French restaurant around here so I'd better find some recipes online. I'm thinking pastries...

Here's a little of our week in pictures (Gracie is a pretty good artist, if I do say so :) )

 

Not One Day at a Time

"How's homeschooling going?"

That's the most common question I'm getting these days. Most of the time, it's from a family member or friend who is genuinely interested and is asking the question to be encouraging. But, every now and then, I can tell the question is being asked suspiciously, and the asker is waiting for me to admit colossal failure.I answer the question honestly (which right now is, "good but we're still trying to iron out some wrinkles").Then I usually get some more questions about curriculum, which is code for "are you really doing anything?"

Unlike most things in life, homeschooling ISN'T something you take one day at a time. To truly understand and appreciate it, you need to see the big picture. Gracie might not learn a new math concept every single day. It's not about that. It's about the process, about who she will be and what she will know in ten YEARS, not ten months.

It's like watching your kids grow. My parents live in Virginia, and when they come to visit after five months, they say " Oh my goodness, I can't believe how much the kids grew!". But I was with them every day, and didn't notice they had grown. I fed them nutritious food, and made sure they got exercise and rest. I knew they were growing, but I didn't see it happening.

One day I will wake up and say, "Oh my goodness, I can't believe how much the kids know!" because I was with them every day, and didn't notice how much they had learned. I "fed" them, made sure they "exercised" and even "rested". I knew they were learning, even if I didn't see it happening. 

I Hate Lifepacs

I wasn't so sure about them when they arrived, but I thought I should give them a chance, right? Well after about a week and a half with them, Gracie and I were both frustrated. There was this feeling of, "what's the point?" They didn't seem to have any content to them. Instead of actually learning anything, they were just full of exercises to complete.

The language arts was ridiculously simple, think preschool level. All Gracie did every day was identify a letter and its sound. Then she would trace it about three times, and circle some objects that started with that letter. EVERY DAY. The teacher's manual had no extra activities to supplement with. Then, they threw in all this confusing stuff. For example, for the letter "N" you were supposed to circle a picture of a knee. I checked the answer key, because I thought maybe they were trying to throw the kids off. Also, for the short "e" sound, they included a bunch of "ea" words, like head, bread, thread. Ok, what about when they read the words bead, meat, seat? Really poor quality in my opinion, which was disappointing, since it's an award-winning curriculum from a major publisher.

Then there was the math. It was all over the place. It followed no logical sequence, even though it was touted as a mastery-based program. One day you counted to nine. The next you were asked to identify the numbers smaller than 83. What? that came out of nowhere. No intro, no learning more than and less than, it just appeared on the next page. Horrible.

So that brought us back to square one, and the continuing search for "The One". I've really been trying to get outside the box. I have this vision in my head of the "perfect" homeschool set-up, a largely Charlotte Mason-inspired model, with lots of books and free time to read and explore ideas, craft supplies on hand, time to get off on tangents inspired by a particular interest. But when it comes time to buy books I chicken out and stick with the model I know, using workbooks as a crutch, fearful I might miss something, fearful of what people will think.

This time I decided to just go for it. I'm tired of worrying what someone might think if I don't have my kids tied to some workbooks all day. That's not homeschooling. I'm really sick of snide remarks and inferences that some day I will wake up to find my kids are social and academic morons. My friend Ramona put it best: "kids learn in spite of us". So true. You can't stop a kid from learning, even if you try. It comes as naturally to them as breathing. So with this in mind, I purchased Five in a Row. It's a different system than other curricula, and it was developed by a homeschool mom who is also a former teacher, which was a big selling point for me. A lot of curricula sold for homeschooling is the same thing used in conventional schools, which isn't what I'm looking for. Five in a Row is literature and unit study based, and it's more of a guide than an actual curriculum. You read one book(most are available from the library) for five days, focusing on a different "subject" each day. One day you study the geographical location of the story, the culture,the customs, the food. Then you put your "story tag" on the map to see "where you've been.". Another day you focus on the language of the story, learn some vocabulary words, and some spelling words. There is also retelling of the story through artwork or a craft to ensure comprehension, and dictation of a passage to practice handwriting. Another element of the story might lead you to study an area of science. You get the idea. It's more of a holistic approach, with each subject tying into one story, just like each subject ties into real life. It's not compartmentalized like a textbook, and it's highly customizable. If you read a story about China, and you really get into it, you can run with it and dig as deep as you like. You don't need to "do the next page" tomorrow. You can stick with something for a week, for a month.

The author is clear that you need to supplement with math and phonics programs, which is fine. This time I'm trying Adventures in Phonics from Christian Liberty Press and math from Modern Curriculum Press (I'm not totally opposed to workbooks, I just don't want an ALL workbook curriculum). Both the phonics and math have gotten good reviews as solid programs, and the phonics sample page included grammar rules, which was important to me.

I'm really looking forward to trying something different, and Gracie is too. It should all arrive this week, so cross your fingers for me...

To Co-op, or Not to Co-op?

A few days ago my friend Joyce (hi Joyce!) called and invited me to visit the co-op she is part of. Basically it's a group, limited to about twelve homeschooling families, who meet once a week for some informal "class" time, lunch, and fellowship. Throughout the year they throw in pizza parties, field trips, family nights when the kids can share what they've learned and the dads can get together, and an end of the year talent show.(I am told one child's talent was screaming!) The teaching is split up among the moms, with everyone taking a turn in their own child's class and another turn in the nursery. You do a unit study on the topic of your choice, building on it week to week, usually for about five weeks. When you're not teaching, you serve as an extra pair of hands to the moms who are teaching.

Sounds like lots of fun...and lots of commitment.

We attended their meeting this morning. Classes start in two weeks, and this was mostly a meet and greet and run-down of what goes on. When we arrived, Gracie immediately found a little buddy and was off playing. Caleb went to the nursery with a few other toddlers and played with blocks. I met the moms, all of whom were super nice. They were loud (in a good way)- laughing and joking, and catching up on what they did this summer.We went over the year's tentative schedule, then the kids met for assembly. They said the Pledge of Allegiance, then shared their joys("my tooth fell out" "I got a parakeet this summer") and their concerns ("I fell down playing basketball" "I got sunburned"). They prayed together, and then they would normally break into classes by similar ages, but today they just played.

My first thoughts on co-ops were, "why would I join a co-op and go to classes when classes are exactly what I want to avoid?" But it's not really like that. The classes are very informal, and they're unit studies, so they're really hands-on, with lots of crafts and projects and games. The kids learn and try their best, but there's no tests and grading and bells ringing. So it's not a group of homeschoolers trying to imitate school, as I originally thought. I have until they start in two weeks to decide if we're going to join, and here's what I'm thinking:

Pros-
Gracie and Caleb would both have regular time to play with other kids
We're "plugged in"; we're not just floating around in our own world, we're connected with other people who have similar goals and lifestyles
I can talk and share with other moms who know what I'm experiencing, we can discuss curriculum, methods, problems, whatever
They meet five minutes from my house

Cons-
Only one really, but it's a big one...commitment. Am I ready to commit to teaching other kids for five weeks, maybe more? Choosing a topic, finding books, preparing crafts and games?  I'm still figuring out how Gracie and I are going to do this ourselves, and I have Sunday school lessons to plan for every other week.

Gracie and Caleb both had a great time this morning, and while I'm not worried about socialization in the sense of raising awkward kids, I do want opportunities for them to develop meaningful friendships. And I could definitely use the support and wisdom of women who have been where I am now. It seems like a no-brainer, but I really need to pray and think about this one...

Take Two

I am a big subscriber to the Moore's methods of homeschooling. For those of you unfamiliar with Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore, they are considered by many to be the "grandparents" of homeschooling. Between them they have, like, a zillion year's teaching experience, have served as university administrators, homeschooled their own children, and have conducted many studies on education and homeschooling. One of the things I really like about their "formula",as they call it, is their blend of work-service-study. A child should have a fair amount of (unpaid) work to do. Chores. Helping with family projects. Working the family business, or farm. They should also be involved with serving others, the elderly, disabled, people in need. And then they should have time for study. If you think about it, their formula is what everyday life was like for people until about the middle of last century. One of the major underlying problems in our society, in my opinion, is a lack of work ethic. I believe children can and should be expected to pull their weight. Period.

So yesterday our church was having a work day in preparation for moving into our new building. One of the things on the list was weeding, so I planned to take the kids over in the morning. It would be a perfect opportunity to both work and serve.

I got Gracie up at 8 and she was not happy. She was pouting about getting up, pouting about working, pouting about eating. We got to the church to find the weeding had been done yesterday. Ok... I found a few small things for them to do, mostly picking up some trash and sweeping the floor, so the time wasn't totally wasted. We stayed about two hours, and during the ride home Gracie announced, "My arms are too tired." "For what?" I asked. "Schoolwork!" Oh boy.

I let her chill for a while. We have been reading a few books about Johnny Appleseed, and I rented the Disney video from Netflix. So we watched the video, and then we read our last two books. She was pretty into it, and after that she spent about an hour making a Johnny Appleseed craft of her own design. She was coloring and cutting and made paper-doll type figures that could stand up. I was pretty impressed, and although we didn't follow any kind of lesson plans, I felt she was getting some history and literature, and then art out of it. Of course, Gracie can make art out of anything. That's the kind of unit-style learning that sounds super cool to me, but I just can't wrap my brain around how to work it all out yet.

Working in the afternoon seemed to work really well yesterday, so I planned on doing it again today. I gave Gracie the run-down when she got up this morning. We ran to the store this morning, then the kids played and had lunch. I got Caleb in for a nap at 1. Gracie was just kind of hanging out, not involved with anything. I told her it was time to start. We read the Bible lesson, which took about two minutes to read and was very story-bookish. It was about Adam and Eve's home in the garden, what kind of animals they might have played with. Then there was a coloring page with hidden animals to circle. This is the kind of "work" she would do for fun, like a "Highlights" magazine, right? Gracie sits at the table and groans. "What's the matter?" I ask. "My stomach hurts". "Ok. Go take a nap. You can come back when you feel better" She explodes into tears and runs, wailing, into her bedroom. I unload the dishwasher. Five minutes later she's back, composed. "I'm ready". Great. We finish the Bible page, which takes about a minute and a half. I'm such a slave driver. Then we have a page of math. Circle the numbers that are bigger than 25. Easy. Not for Gracie. I feel so bad for the kid. She has no idea what it means. She can count to 25. She can count to 100. But she can't make the connection that 100 is more than 25. So I count out beads to try to show her. We use a number chart to find which numbers come before/after, but I'm still not sure she gets it. Math is something we are going to have to take really, really, slow. The page is really short, but it takes about 30 minutes, because I'm trying to help her understand, and she's getting really frustrated.

We break for some chocolate chip cookies.

Now on to language. This is ridiculously easy compared to Math. Circle the words that start with "R". Five minutes. Done.

Social Studies. "I am special". We read how God made us special, and ways to communicate. Draw a line to the part of your body you use to read. Write. Talk. Another Five minutes. Done.

It's 2:40. Everything took an hour and forty-minutes, and that included one meltdown and one cookie break.
Time for literature. We are almost done "Little House on the Prairie". Gracie asks if we can read on the porch swing. Awesome idea, Gracie. We read one chapter, then she went out back to play.

I'm not sure how I feel about the past two days. I don't like telling you Gracie had a meltdown and didn't want to do any work, and that we only spent five minutes on language and she had a hard time with math. But that's what happened. I liked the laid-back, Johnny Appleseed stuff, but we need more content than that. I loved reading on the porch swing. We'll do more of that. And the cookies... I liked the cookies...

My Own School Experience

I'll never forget the way I felt the first time a teacher told me "You have a gift. I rarely see a student who 'gets this' the way you do. You should really move forward with this". I was overwhelmed. I felt a surge of pride, and yet humbleness. Someone believed in me. I felt special. Appreciated.

I just think it was a shame I had to wait until college to interact with a teacher like that.

The first time I came across the term "burnout" referring to kids in school, I didn't get it. Huh? kids, getting burned-out? They're kids! They get up, someone makes them food, washes their clothes, drives them around, what do they have to be burned-out about?

Then I started thinking back on my own school experience. Part of my problem accepting homeschooling was the sense of nostalgia I felt about school. Red apples and crisp white paper and No. 2 pencils. New backpacks and saddle shoes.*sigh* School was great. There were so many great memories...like that time...wait that was bad... or when...no that embarrassed me... that great teacher...what great teacher? The more I thought about it, the fewer truly positive experiences I had in school, and the ones I did were either just playing with my friends or in an extra-curricular setting, band or Bible quiz team. Everything else had sucked. And I thought about my grades. In elementary school I was a straight-A, happily over-achieving student. By middle school I was falling behind in math, and by high school I gave up. I didn't even try. It wasn't until college, when I was able to choose the majority of my classes, study on my own and pursue my interests that my grades went back up.

I started school young. I went to a private Christian school that included a K-4 class. So at 4 1/2 I rode the big yellow bus for an hour, got to school where I sat at a desk, looked at the blackboard and wrote in a workbook. We had lunch and recess, a short rest time, and got back on the bus at 3. Kindergarten was more of the same.

Then came first grade. I don't wish my first grade experience on anyone. I had the worst teacher you can imagine. Her name was Miss Schaffer. She was young and looked like Miss Piggy. She had big blonde hair and bright pink makeup. She was overweight and would sit at her desk with her shoes off and eat lollipops in front of us. And boy did she have it in for me. I can remember looks of disdain and even the hateful way in which she said my name.

One time I was supposed to have my mom sign that I had done my homework. I did my homework, but the slip of paper she was supposed to sign had fallen out in my desk and never made it home. My life was over. Miss Schaffer would unleash her wrath on me. What should I do? I knew how to spell my mom's name, but I could only print. My mom would sign in cursive. I got the slip out and crookedly scrawled "Carla" across the top of my paper in the best cursive I could manage. I knew my last name was impossible.

I handed in my work. My face was hot. My heart was in my throat .She looked it over. "Did your mom sign this?" she squinted her eyes at me. "No."  I felt proud. I had told the truth. I started out bad, but I had made it right. She would tell me what I did was wrong, but she was glad I told the truth. I would lose my recess, but I didn't mind, because I deserved that. "Go stand in front of the class".

"Boys and girls, everyone look at Colleen." They all stared at me. My knees were shaking. "Colleen is a very bad person. She is a liar".

Then there was the time I broke my arm and needed surgery. I had climbed onto the washing machine to reach a chin-up bar in the doorway. I fell and broke it in three place. At the joint the bone actually snapped off and was just kind floating around in there. I had to have surgery and missed a few weeks of school. I came back, basking in the attention and cast-signing. Again, Miss Schaffer called me up front. To welcome me back, I presumed. Again the kids were instructed to look at me, and this is the message she delivered,

"Boy and girls, Colleen broke her arm because she was playing somewhere she shouldn't have been. Now God is punishing her. You should all learn a lesson from her."

What the heck?!

And the time I told her I was sick, and she made me eat my lunch anyway and then I threw up in the hallway. And the time she told me my hair was dirty. And when she told my brother he "ruined the concert" by singing so loudly. What hurt the most was when she told me my mom was very bad because she was divorced.

Second grade wasn't much better. We had Mr. Campbell. He never humiliated us, but he asked little girls to sit on his lap at his desk and he kissed them on the cheek. Then he asked my mom to borrow her car to take me and two other little girls on a field trip to Philly-with just him. Yikes. Needless to say, none of us went. The other two girls didn't return to our school next year.

The next few years were uneventful, with mediocre teachers. Third grade is the year I started falling behind in math. No one stopped and tried to help me understand it. I guess they didn't have time. So as the years went on, I fell further and further behind, a snowball effect, eventually ending up in remedial high school math and never recovering.

Maybe this sounds like a lot of blame-shifting. I should have tried harder in math. Asked for help. But remember I was a little kid! I couldn't be solely responsible for my education yet. I needed guidance. I'm not bitter, or resentful, I'm just recognizing that sometimes, the system fails, because it's a one-size-fits-all system, and kids, people, aren't made that way.

I was definitely burned-out by high school. I really didn't care anymore. I didn't try. I didn't know where to start. I forgot a lot of my assignments, and just remember feeling lost and distracted all the time. I was drowning. I had no time management skills, and instead of stepping in, asking, "What's going on? do you need some help?" I just got irritated remarks and looks of disgust from teachers. After one particularly horrible presentation in front of the class, one teacher said, " Go sit down. I don't even know what to say".

Thanks for your help.


So that is part of what I am trying to avoid by homeschooling. I want Gracie to know that, learning is fun, just as I have discovered, 11 years after school, it's fun. I'm not worried about cramming facts into her head at his point, but with helping her develop skills she can use to learn things herself .Observation. Critical thinking. The word educate literally means, "to draw out". That's my goal. To draw out those skills, her natural abilities, and show her how to make them work for her.

Testing the Waters

After window shopping and comparing for over a year, I finally ordered Gracie's first grade curriculum. I settled on a combination of two very similar curricula: Alpha Omega Publication's Lifepacs and Christian Light Publications. I combined them because using CLP is much cheaper, but I didn't like their LA or Math, so I got Lifepacs for those. AOP is an offshoot of CLP, and the scope and sequence is identical. Both programs include 5 core subjects (Bible, Math, Language Arts, Science and Social Studies), and both divide the lessons into 10 small workbooks, one for each month. So you just teach from the teacher's guide, and the student uses their workbook. No separate textbooks and test books and listening CD's. It seemed really simple, straightforward, efficient.

When it arrived in the mail. I tore open the boxes, eager to see what adventures awaited Gracie and me this upcoming year. Language Arts, Lesson One: Short "a" sound. Math: Count to 9. Uh-oh, they must have sent me kindergarten instead. I look at the covers. It's first grade. Well it must be review, it will get more challenging throughout the year. I look ahead several months...not really. I'm not sure what to do. Should I send them back? Use them and supplement where Gracie needs it? My goal, philosophy if you will, was to cover the basics gently, yet thoroughly, spending a small amount of the day on bookwork and the rest of the day involved with hands-on stuff: chores to develop real-life skills, baking, reading about interests,small science projects, nature journaling, and lots of outdoor play. I debate for several days, and decide to keep the books. I'd rather things be too simple than too advanced.

From there I start working out a schedule. I want to have order and routine, but still be flexible. I sit down with the books and lesson planner and schedule everything in for September, including vacation, playdates, roller skating day, and a once a month class at the Wetlands institute. It looks awesome. The only thing is I don't really know how long schoolwork will take each day. I decide to do a trial run on Friday, sort of an "orientation" day like schools have, and then over the weekend I can sit down with my planner and tweak things.

So Friday arrives. This is how the day should go:
6am-  get up,devotions, exercise, shower, make breakfast
7:30-Gracie gets up
8-Gracie eats breakfast, then does chores while I feed Luke
9-  Bible
9:30- Math
10- Language and reading
11- outdoor play
12-lunch

After lunch Gracie has free time while I get Caleb and Luke down for naps, then
2-2:30 Social studies or science(they are twice a week subjects)

This is how the day really goes:
2:30 am- Caleb sleepwalks into our room babbling stuff. Put him back to bed.
3 am- Luke is screaming. I change, feed, rock him. He is wide awake.
4:30- finally get Luke back to sleep
5 am- Jeremiah's alarm wakes me up, I go back to sleep
6am- Jeremiah wakes me up to say goodbye
(at some point during all this sleep-interrupting, I unconsciously turn my alarm off)
8:54 am-Gracie wakes me up out of a dead sleep. I get up and Caleb is in the kitchen with his rainboots on, which he only puts on to go outside. Looks like Gracie got me up just in time... I cannot believe I slept that late. I make breakfast, get everyone dressed, etc, and by the time I'm ready to start it's 10 am (Freddy jinxed me-he was teasing me that's when we would start) BUT, everything goes awesome. We do Bible, Math, and Language, and they all take longer than I expect, which is good. We play outside, have some lunch, and when the boys go to sleep I set up a short "a" scavenger hunt outside. Great day. I can't wait to do it again Monday.

We have a really full weekend. Lots of fun, but busy. Before I know it, next week's schedule gets jam-packed too. Probably the busiest week all summer.

Monday we have a playdate at 11, so my goal is to do Bible and Math before we leave, and the rest when we come home. This is one of the advantages of homeschooling, right? Flexibility to do things, yet still learn. But Gracie drags her feet getting up. She doesn't do her chores on time. She keeps daydreaming. She take 40 minutes to eat breakfast. No work gets done, but we have a great playdate. And I figure we're still ahead of the game because we did work on Friday. When we get home we are greeted by a ninety degree house. The AC compressor finally died. We knew it was coming but WHHYYyyy......

Tuesday my parents are coming over. We finish Bible and Math before they come, but Gracie is spaced out the whole time. We are all too hot. Gracie says her arms are tired (her go-to excuse for anything she doesn't want to do) When my parents arrive at 10 I let Gracie play with them. They leave around 2:30 and I get Caleb in for a nap. Almost 3. We are planning on finishing up, but Luke has rolled on his stomach and is crying. When I pick him up, there is blood in the corner of his eye! He's been scratching his face and now he's gotten his eye too. So I make an appointment with the doctor,spend the next 20 minutes getting ready to leave, and don't get home from there till 5 pm. Thankfully, his eye isn't scratched, but so much for the rest of the lessons.

That brings us to today. Today was a little better. We completed our lessons, but with the AC broken we are all pretty miserable. Everyone is sweaty. Luke is cranky, and his fat little neck is getting rashy. There were lots of interruptions. Lots of phone calls. Lots of Luke screaming. Caleb smooshing his hands in the triple paste jar. The rest of the week looks worse. Two doctors appointments and a playdate tomorrow, and Comcast will be here most of Friday. Not to mention what my house looks like. It's sloppier than my schedule. What was I thinking? Why did I start now? I thought I could fit it all in, but I was wrong, wrong, wrong!

It's too soon for us to try to schedule schoolwork around everything else. Maybe after we've got our routine down, we can do that, but the past few days have been all over the place, and no one is really enjoying it. That's a horrible way to get started! My parents wanted to come over again next week, and I told them no. I think I need a good solid week for us to get the hang of things before we start throwing stuff in the mix. Maybe longer. I hate being a stickler, and saying no to fun activities, but I'm gonna have to for a while. I feel like people aren't taking me seriously. This is work. It's like I picked up a part time job, and I've already called in sick a bunch of times!

So the plan is to keep the schedule clear next week. Get caught up on the housework this weekend, and start fresh on Monday morning, with the day and the week wide open. Hopefully we will have smooth sailing next week. Well, smoother.

Park Day

I recently joined a large homeschooling group based out of Cape May and Atlantic counties. It's called Crossway Community homeschoolers and it has over 100 families in it. I was so excited to find it, because they have the coolest activities. Once a month is free rollerskating,once a month is bowling, and once a month is park day. There are also other activities put together by individuals. You join Crossway through a yahoo group, and then you can view the calendar and get email reminders of the upcoming activities.

This past Wednesday was Park Day. I was so excited, and also nervous, because I haven't met anyone yet. But I thought it would be a great way to start the school year off. So that morning I made sure I was up,showered, and did my devotions before the kids got up, which isn't easy, since Caleb like to get up around 6 am. But I was successful. I did my hair, which was looking good for once, and was all ready with breakfast when the kids got up. It was a good day.


So from there I got the house reasonably straightened up and the kids ready. Diaper bag packed. Plenty of cold water. Stroller ready. We had lunch and were ready to go. On the drive over I wondered how I would meet everyone. I assumed I would see a large group of moms together, talking as if they knew each other, and I would walk over and ask them if they were with Crossway. They would say yes, and I would introduce myself, and from there on out we would be BFF. What was the worst that could happen? I would ask a group if they were homeschoolers, they would say no, and I would say thanks and walk away? No, what would be worse is if they were the homeschoolers, I introduced myself, and they ignored me, talked to each other about stuff I wasn't part of, and I stood by awkwardly. Whatever, I thought, it is what it is.

So we got to the park, which actually has two playgrounds, one for small kids, and a bigger one up the road. I thought they would all be at the bigger one, but when we drove by the smaller one, Gracie and Caleb saw a train set AND dinosaurs to climb on. They were so excited. There were two moms there, one with a small toddler and another with two young boys. Probably not the homeschoolers. But I let the kids get out and play, and they were having a blast. Gracie was pretending to be a velociraptor, walking on her tiptoes with big strides and her hands pulled up like little claws by her chest. She kept roaring and falling on the ground, kicking her legs in the air like she was stuck. Then she kept repeating, "where's those eggs I buried? I wanna suck them up!" I decided that even if we met homeschoolers, they wouldn't want to hang out with us.

I let them play for a while, then I told them we were driving around to the other playground to see if we could meet people. But, there were only three people at that one too, and again, it didn't see like they were together. We went for a short walk down one of the nature trails, came back, and played a while longer. After that we packed up and went home.

While we were there though, I was sitting on the bench with Luke, and my butt started burning, then itching. I came home a saw a huge red welt. I obviously sat on something, and it stung me. I had a green stain on my shorts so I think it was a caterpillar. And that night, I found a tick on Luke's stomach. A teeny, tiny, microscopic tick. He stayed in his stroller, so I knew it must have come off me. I checked, and sure enough I hit a nest. I must have had 20 microscopic ticks on me! You know Ron Howard's little brother in the movie "Ticks"? "I'm infesthted!!!" ? That was me.

So now my butt itches, 20 little tick bites itch, and we didn't meet anyone. But I can't say the day was wasted, because my kids had a great time playing together. They got some fresh air and exercise, and I found the only playground I know of that I can let them play without shadowing Caleb. The equipment was small enough for him to climb on, and the ground was covered with about a foot of the rubber tire mulch. And besides, there's always Park Day next month. But this time, I'm wearing bug spray.

The Journey

I never wanted to homeschool my children. If you had asked me when my oldest was born if in 6 years I would be homeschooling, I would have answered very emphatically, "NO WAY".Homeschoolers were weird. Their parents were weird. They were socially awkward, and they sat home all day and had no friends. Being a Christian, I was acquainted with quite a few homeschoolers over the years, and they were weird. There were always two kinds, too: the poor, thrift-shop styled, top-ramen eating variety, and the preacher's/missionaries' kids, who were often snooty and uptight, and always played multiple musical instruments. The girls always had long dresses, often homemade, and even longer hair.The boys wore pants that looked like they were trying to swallow them whole, with giant belts, and giant white sneakers. Both varieties thought they were morally superior to us conventionally schooled kids, with our Nickelodeon habit and (gasp!) secular music!
On top of that, I had my own nerdy little secret: I was homeschooled for 8th and 9th grades. And it was torture. My mother sent me to my grandmother, who graduated teacher's college in 1941. I was to be seen and not heard, to keep my nose in the books, and never, under any circumstance have fun. For any reason. Not that I could have, with her breathing down my neck. And there were the Abeka videos, which were a virtual insult to my 13 year old intelligence. I was seriously supposed to sit here while kids answered questions on video and pretend I was in a classroom? My grandmother is a wonderful person, and she tried her best. But that experience drove the nail in the homeschool coffin for me.
But God is good, and God is funny. I became a mom in 2004. We lived in a beautiful small town, less than a mile from one of the last walking schools in the country. Its students consistently earned some of the best test scores in the state. My husband went there, and had great memories, and many of his teachers still worked there. It was a no-brainer, Gracie was going there.
But a year before kindergarten, God started laying it on my heart to homeschool her. We didn't really want to do it, but we felt that maybe we should. I explored homeschool curriculum, we prayed and prayed. But the bottom line was, we didn't want to raise a weirdo. And Gracie, well she is so social that it seemed akin to abuse to "make her stay home". And then there were the comments from friends and family "Homeschooling? ugh! you're not thinking of THAT, are you?" and also, "Please don't".
So the following September we enrolled her in kindergarten, but with hearts open to homeschooling if it became clear that's what God wanted us to do. So every day she came home, and I waited for her to drop an "F-bomb", or tell us some horrific incident of injustice, or say that she hated it there. But...it never happened. There were some minor incidents here and there, but nothing bad really. Still, I became very uptight, worried who she was playing with, what she was hearing, or worse seeing. Flashbacks of Eric Salvesen whipping out his penis to show me in first grade haunted me(see, even Christian school isn't a "foolproof" plan).The nightly homework did bug me, and she was pretty tired at the end of the day, but that's life, right?
So in October we scheduled our first parent-teacher conference. I arrived cheerfully, expecting to hear a glowing report of how bright Gracie was and what a joy she was in class. Instead, I got seatwork she had made mistakes on, and was admonished that, "if her reading doesn't improve by mid December, she will need to go to the resource room for special help". WHAT?! are you flipping kidding me? the kid is in kindergarten! It seemed like her teacher didn't know her, or care about her.
Then there was the assembly when they played Lady Gaga. And the Chinese New Year celebration when her homework was for me to read her Zodiac sign(I thought religion wasn't allowed in public school? oh right, just Christianity). And the time that kid told her God didn't love her anymore.
Then came the snow days. Gracie was missing days at a time, and we were getting antsy. So one day, totally unplanned, I sat down and did some "homeschooling" with her. We did an alphabet sheet, and a math sheet, read a chapter of "Little House on the Prairie" and I asked her to draw a picture of her favorite part of the story. She ate it up. She came alive. She begged for more. I'm on to something, I thought.
I started reading voraciously. John Holt, John Taylor Gatto, The Moores, online articles. They all said it was better. And I didn't want what was good for my kid, I wanted what was better. I wanted to homeschool her. And I realized I already had, sort of. She only learned a little at school. I had taught her from the day she was born, without even trying. And she was "well-socialized" before she ever set foot in a classroom.
Jeremiah felt the same way. So we made the decision to let her finish the year and then homeschool her.
That decision opened up so many doors for us. We were living in a 900-sq-foot home with two small bedrooms and a third baby on the way. No longer "married" to the school system, we were able to move out of town, but still close by, into a large three bedroom, two bath home on 10 acres, which we hope to turn into a hobby farm. But that's another blog.
So Gracie finished out her school year in mid June. One morning, I told her, "tomorrow's the last day of school!" "Yay!" she shouted. "And then we do homeschool?!"
So here are, getting ready to start our homeschool year. Over the summer, Gracie's attitude has improved immensely, she is kind to her brother, and I don't stress about what she sees and hears so much, because I know what is going on in her life, and I know that we, her family, have the most influence on her. She has made some new friends, and she has learned to do some chores around the house.
And looking back, those homeschooled kids weren't really that weird. They had standards, and they stuck to them. And they were better socialized than the 13 year old girl who was judging them by their clothes. Except that one family, they were genuinely weird...