The Big, Bad, TV

                                                                            


I really like TV. After the kids get to bed, I like to relax, maybe make some popcorn, and watch TV. It's the end of the day, and I can FINALLY just sit down, and do nothing... ahhhh...

But, as a homeschool mom, I'm not supposed to like TV! I'm supposed to disconnect it and throw it on the front lawn until the trash men come. TV hating and homeschooling go hand-in-hand. When homeschool people introduce themselves, they often say something like, "I homeschool my 14 children, who were all born in the bathtub, and we don't watch TV." They also usually throw something in there about how wonderful they eat too. One mom confided in me, "She thinks green beans are a treat!" I punched her in the boobs.

I'm not advocating parking your kids in front of the TV all day. Any one who knows me knows that's not how I roll. And I think you should be very careful what they watch. I just think people should stop vilifying TV. Like so many other things, it's what you make of it- you can use it for bad, or you can use it for good.

Last summer we signed up for Netflix, and we ended up using it for homeschooling more than anything. In September we did a unit study on Johnny Appleseed, and we were able to rent the Disney movie. We've watched a few IMAX shows about animals and several episodes of "Liberty's Kids", a cartoon series about Colonial America and the Revolutionary war. When we read Madeline and studied France, we were able to watch the cartoons of Madeline as well. It's a nice supplement. And we really enjoy making popcorn, grabbing a blanket, and having family movie night- just like sometimes we have campfire night or board game night or going out for ice cream night. I just really don't get what all the fuss is about.

That being said, I am hyper-vigilant about what my kids watch, and they are usually limited to PBS cartoons (I LOVE Martha Speaks and sometimes find myself watching it...) And I do have two kids with couch-potato tendencies, so we have some guidelines:

One hour max a day
No TV if you don't do your chores
No TV when there's something else to do- nice weather, piano practice, family over
We also watch movies before our kids do. Even "G" movies sometimes have things that are a little too scary or themes we're not crazy about.

So that's my take on TV. It's one of those things you have to use common sense with. And no, I didn't really punch that lady in the boobs. I usually go straight for the jugular.

Lessons from Dad

Sunday is Father's Day. Father's Day definitely doesn't get as much hype as Mother's Day, but I think it should. My parents divorced when I was a kid, my dad didn't bother visiting often, my mom got remarried and I only saw my biological dad once or twice after that. It's kind of a cliche now, but I have felt the effects of that my whole life, which is why I value and respect my husband being a good dad more than anything else he does.

When we first started homeschooling, I had hoped he would be more hands-on, maybe doing Bible lessons or science with Gracie. But that hasn't happened, because his work schedule won't allow it. He works hard and he works very long hours most of the time, so that we can continue having me stay home and teach the kids. He's not "homeschooling", but he's definitely doing his part. I couldn't homeschool my kids without him. I need him behind me, reassuring me I'm doing a good job, encouraging me when things aren't going as I hoped they would. Gracie needs him to ask her what she learned about at the end of the day. I need him to shell out the big bucks for curriculum...lol...


But what's amazing to me, is even though he works long all week, he still finds time to spend with the kids. He comes through the door after a 14 hour day with a smile on his face and an ear to bend to a very talkative 7 yr old. He's always busy, but never too busy. He's always tired, but never too tired. Sometimes I'm even a little jealous, because I feel like he gets to do all the fun stuff, while I'm doing the teaching and teeth brushing and make-sure-you wash-your-hands stuff. But I would rather it be that way. I want them to spend every minute they can enjoying their dad, making those memories, because I never got to. I see Gracie curl up on his lap with her little white arms wrapped around his brown neck or he and Caleb building a Lincoln Log town and I can handle the dishes -and even the litter box- by myself.

He's always going above and beyond for us. Once Gracie asked for a rocket ship to play with. The next few nights after work he spent building one out of paper mache. We wanted chickens, he built us a chicken coop nicer than most sheds.Gracie started piano, he lugged a piano in the house. He never misses a piano recital, and once he made it through an entire ballet performance waiting to see Gracie even after a 6'5"  black man twirled across the stage in his leotard. He gets in the kiddie pool and splashes with them and makes them balloon animals and plays board games and My Little Ponies. He gets up if they have nightmares and cleans throw up off the couch.

He may not be "homeschooling" them, but he teaches them a lot. About working hard, being responsible. About having a good attitude. About putting others before yourself, keeping your word. He teaches them what God's love is like, by demonstrating it every day. I might be teaching them numbers and letters, but the lessons he teaches them are more important than anything else they will ever learn.

                                                                                 

Metamorphosis

"Mom, when can we buy a butterfly kit?"

Gracie has been asking me that for over a year, and I always say, "soon". And I mean it, but it's one of those things that slips my mind. She asked again a few weeks ago, after she saw another commercial on Sprout. You've probably seen them too; the kit comes with a "pavilion" and caterpillar eggs, and costs $24.95.

                                                                        
                                          
I made a mental note to order one soon... and promptly forgot.

A few night later we were eating dinner on the deck. Gracie noticed a big black caterpillar climbing up the side of the house.
"Can I get a jar?!"
(there is always something in a jar in our house)
"Okay, but you can only keep it for a day or it might die". Gracie caught the caterpillar, which looked rather menacing with its spiky black back, and added some leaves for his jar-dwelling comfort.
"What if he builds a cocoon and turns into a butterfly?!"
I was really close to saying, "aww sweetie that would be nice, but it won't happen", but I bit my tongue. I didn't want to sound discouraging, so I just said, "maybe..."

We put the jar on the kitchen counter. I forgot about it until later the next afternoon when I was cleaning the kitchen. "Oh boy," I thought, "I wonder if it died?" I picked up the jar, but I didn't see the caterpillar. I held the jar up...and saw a cocoon!

                                                                                 

I couldn't believe it! How cool is that? I called Gracie, and she said, "I knew it would make a cocoon!"

But, we still didn't know what it would change into. We tried to find pictures of black caterpillars to compare it to, but with no luck. We also didn't know how long the metamorphosis would take. We just had to wait. Gracie started a journal so she could track what happened. Her butterfly field guide said some butterflies take from 7-10 days, other species take 10-20. And what if it was a moth? We checked the jar everyday, and finally, on day 8, there was a big, black, beautiful butterfly sitting in the jar.

                                                                                 

We got out the field guide and finally determined it was called a "Mourning Cloak". It said they eat fruit, so we gave it some apple slices and it climbed all over them! (did you know butterflies have taste buds on their feet? I didn't either, but somehow Gracie did!)

                                                                                 

We kept it in the jar another day or two to observe it, then it started fluttering a lot so we thought it was time to let it go.

                                                                              

                                                                                   
                                                                It flew away so fast!

Later that night Jeremiah called me into the kitchen. "Look out the window," he said. The butterfly was back, sitting on our deck! It flew away before I could call the kids.

Watching the caterpillar change was a really cool experience; it was so much more fun because Gracie caught it and we didn't know when or what it would change into. Later Gracie remarked that she couldn't believe such an ugly caterpillar could change into something so beautiful- which was a really great time to talk about how God cleansed us from our sin and turned us into something new.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." 2 Corinthians 5:17

Get Real

For the past two months, my kitchen floor has been covered in measuring cups from the time Luke wakes up until he goes to bed. His most favorite thing in the whole world is pulling all the cooking utensils out of every drawer and carrying them around the house. Last time I used the mixer, I had look for my paddle. I found it behind the couch!

Babies and kids love real things. I noticed this as soon as Gracie was old enough to play. The plastic keys are fine- until they catch sight of the real set in the diaper bag. If you let a little girl choose between a plastic Barbie tea set, or playing with your tea kettle and mugs, she will go for the real stuff every time. Mickey Mouse cell phones are great, until dad comes home and sets his work cell on the counter. Plastic tool sets are just a disappointment. Caleb wants to hammer some real nails. Same goes for the kitchen set. My kids want to really bake something.

I think this is because kids want to be part of the real world. It's kind of insulting if you think about it. They want real things, important things, meaningful things. They want tools to get the job done. And we give them plastic ones and tell them to go play, because they're not big enough to use the real thing. What harm would come from letting them loose with some real stuff? Let them bake some cookies. Let them use the coffee mugs. Give them some real shovels and let them dig in the garden. Help them hammer some nails into a board. Then channel their drive and the skills you are teaching them into doing something productive- helping make dinner, helping with the garden, helping dad build. They'll have a deep sense of accomplishment, and you'll have a lighter work load.

Scaredy Mom

I remember being a teenager, talking with my friends about what kind of moms we'd be. I always envisioned myself as a laid-back, unstressed, anything-goes kind of mom. But now that I AM a mom, I feel like the complete opposite of what I thought I would be.

Gracie is invited to a birthday party at a bowling alley this weekend. The only problem is, Jeremiah is busy, so in order to stay with her, I would have to entertain two squirmy boys at the bowling alley. Do I have to stay? Can I drop her off? What if something happens?

I worry so much about my kid's safety. Probably too much. My kids have never slept with their windows open, because I'm afraid someone will kidnap them in the middle of the night. I even went so far as to get alarms on the windows so they can sleep with them cracked, but if they get moved an alarm goes off. Is that going overboard? Probably. But I can't sleep otherwise.

I grew up outside of Wildwood, and every summer we went to the boardwalk. We also went to Great Adventure and Busch Gardens. I loved the rides, especially the roller coasters. But now that I have kids, the idea of strapping them into a seat that propels them 60 mph through the air is unthinkable. I read an article this afternoon about a girl falling off the ferris wheel on Morey's Pier. She died.  I let them go on the little stuff now, but when they're old enough for roller coasters, forget it. I'm sure they will hate me for it, especially when all their friends talk about it. But it just seems unnecessarily risky.

Once when Gracie was a baby, I dreamed she was drowning in the ocean. When I tried to save her, my body was like cement and I couldn't move to her. I could see her smiling face in the waves, until it went under and I woke up in a panic. Then when Caleb was a toddler, I had recurring dreams about him falling from horrible heights. I would be at the top and I could see him going down, down, down, and when he'd hit the bottom, same thing, I'd wake up in a panic. These are the kind of irrational fears that plague my psyche.

They've never had babysitters besides family members and one or two very close friends. It would be really convenient if I could hire a really nice teenage girl. But what if they choke on something? What if Caleb jumps off the top bunk and breaks something? What if Luke pulls a knife out of the dishwasher(it's happened before). What if she has a friend stop over and they do something horrible? What if, what if, what if?

What if Gracie goes to the birthday party and someone steals her from the bowling alley? What if she goes to use the bathroom and someone hurts her? What if?

Somewhere in the midst of my what ifs, I saw them for what they really are- a lack of faith. God gave me these children, but ultimately, they are His. I am called to do the best I can for them, but I can't control everything that happens to them, no matter how hard I try.

So I will let Gracie go to the party without me. I've been friends with the mom for years, and I know she'll take good care of her. I will trust that God will keep her safe.

But roller coasters are still out of the question.